That Green-Eyed Monster

I know why she does it. She likes to test the extent to which I still become jealous. I tell her that I’m not, but she doesn’t believe me. Because of this, she will test me on occasion.

Yesterday, she told me that she was going to be spending the day with two of our co-workers. I had a minimal reaction. By minimal, I mean I didn’t have a reaction. Our work days no longer intertwine. Having a reaction does nothing for me, so I responded accordingly. She can spend her days with whoever she chooses. It has nothing to do with me.

Maybe she thinks it’s cute that I used to be jealous? I used to be. I had even admitted that to her. But now, I’m not. There’s no reason to be. I don’t know if that bothers her. I still don’t think that she believes me when I tell her I’m not.

I only worked five hours yesterday. Before I left for the day, I sent her a text mesaage to let her know I was leaving for the day. I also told her to have fun with those two co-workers.

I know that the next time I hear from her, she’s going to dig into me, as she does. God forbid that I happen to remember what she told me, that she was going to spend the day with those two other workers. I still have some semblance of a memory. She’s going to make some kind of accusation that I was jealous and that that text message was some kind of way for me to convey that very emotion.

I used to be.

I’m not anymore.

I can’t seem to communicate that to her, as eloquent and masterful I can be with words. Still, I try.

I will say this though.

Jealousy is a bitch.