Part 3: Work Wife #4?
“Could Serena be #4?”
Even as I write this latest entry, that question still lingers. I want to say that it remains unanswered, but a small part of me would be lying. I think.
Last Friday, Serena and I got together for the first time in a week because she’s now moved on to another part of her formal training, one that takes several weeks to complete and which will keep her out of the office three days out of the week at least through August. I am on vacation for the rest of July. We have maintained contact by cell phone and those text messages, but obviously, that’s not the same as getting together in-person. So even as my vacation comes to an end, she and I will need to really take advantage of the days when she is not in training, at least through the first half of August.
Suffice it to say that Serena has worked her way into my world and now I am at a point where I don’t know if I could be without her. She did something to me and while I can’t readily explain it, I really like it.
Remember that courage I said I was finally able to muster? It came out over lunch on Friday. The conversation was flowing and I found my moment and asked her:
“Serena, I know that we’ve gotten close in these last two months and I’m not complaining about any of it. But there’s been one question that had been lingering in my mind for a while now and I have to ask. Of all the people in that office, why me?”
I knew I put her on the spot. I didn’t mean to, but I did. She didn’t answer immediately and wouldn’t answer until a few hours later. I was serious though. She could have gotten close to anyone in that office, but for whatever the reason, she chose me. She didn’t have to, but she did. I had to ask why, even if she didn’t know why herself.
Instead, I took the reigns of the conversation and relieved an awkward situation by telling her this:
“Serena, I like you. Take that how you will. I just thought you should know”.
I truly think that one of the reasons that Serena likes talking to me is because she can never really predict what I am going to say, and I think she likes a little bit of that unknown. I don’t know if she could have predicted what I had just told her. If there was one thing I had told her, both through text and to her face, is that I will always be real with her, even if doing so might hurt her feelings or be offensive. She was momentarily taken aback by this, but she seemed to understand it and welcomed such openness.
Hours later, Serena finally answered the question I had posed to her at lunch. With a smile, she said:
“I like you too”.
She and I continued to converse even after we parted ways that day, in a nearly hour-long phone call as she drove home and I was parked in a high school parking lot, hoping that my car wouldn’t overheat from the treacherous summer conditions that always plague this area this time of year. It seems that our conversations are getting longer and longer, which I do not mind. I actually enjoy them very much.
During that nearly hour-long phone call, we shared some stories from before we got “together” and in doing so, it allowed me to see some of the insight and intent with which she had been operating since mid-May. She had gotten upset and even jealous when other people would hang out with me, when she was unable to do so herself. She had really high hopes of joining my work group and was not entirely thrilled about going to Netta’s group, which is not a slight to Netta at all. Serena just knew where she wanted to go and in the end, it didn’t happen. Serena was not looking forward to pairing with Carlos in any capacity, as she cited his personality as not meshing well with hers. Hearing all of this made me feel really good inside. This is not necessarily because all of that stuff is nice to hear, but because deep down, I felt similarly about her. I just wish that I had shared some of my feelings with her that much sooner. Maybe the timing wasn’t right then, but this past Friday, it sure as hell was.
I told Serena that I too felt some strange, deep down feelings when we were somehow unable to hang out and spend time together, though at the time, I had no idea how she felt. I guess I should have seen how eager she was, rather than try and brush it off like it was never there.
After sharing various bits of information with her about everything that has happened thus far, I finally told Serena that this was looking more and more like a situation where she was working her way (if she truly hadn’t already) towards being my next work wife. As I write this, I don’t know if she “accepted”, but in my heart, I want to say that she has.