Look At All These Rumors

Rumors are an interesting thing.  When you work in an environment that is almost exclusively women, rumors tend to run rampant and can wreak all kinds of havoc.  I don’t know why this is.  Since I haven’t worked in a male-dominated environment, I can’t readily say that rumors can cause the same kind of damage in that kind of workspace.  I know that women talk and seem to have a great time doing it.  Men also talk, but I have to think that the kinds of conversations that men and women have in the workplace are vastly different.

I tend not to get caught up in the rumor mill at work because for the most part, I don’t care about what other people are doing or not doing.  I tend to keep to myself as it is.  I might listen to a story or two, but generally speaking, I don’t delve into what’s going on in the office, especially when it’s not relevant to work or the job that we’re trying to do. 

This past week, it came to my attention that there were rumors swirling about the possibility that Jackie was somehow going to be returning to our office.  For those of you who are unaware, Jackie is my third work wife.  She and I were a team for just over a year before she left our office at the end of April 2023.  Jackie relocated to Nevada and for all intents and purposes, there was little, if any, chance of her returning.  When she moved and had even gone so far as to buy property in Nevada, the thought was that she was going to make a new life for herself there and otherwise find a way to make it all work out.  Briefly, back in July perhaps, she had considered leaving her job in Nevada and she contemplated coming back to work in California.  She was unhappy with her job in Nevada and she didn’t know if she could tolerate being in that workplace beyond 2023.  There were even talks about the possibility that she could return to our office, even with a heavily modified schedule, where she would only need to physically come into the office twice a week and with the remaining two days, she would telecommute.  This is all assuming that she would be working a 4-10 schedule, which was her original schedule prior to her leaving.

Jackie and I are still somewhat close, in that we still communicate with each other during the week.  We just exchange simple text messages most mornings.  This is something that we said we would do, as a means of keeping in touch and for the most part, we’ve adhered to this pretty well. 

So, if you’ve been reading my diary, you know that I have since moved on and have taken on my fourth work wife.  For those who are not in the know, not long after Jackie left, Serena and I started a relationship at work and managed to become really close, even closer than Jackie and I ever did.  To say that Serena and I just clicked would be a drastic understatement.  She and I became very close, to where it seemed like a foregone conclusion that Serena was going to be #4.  There was no competition for the position.  It seemed like all I had to do was ask and it was going to happen.  Well, it did happen and just like that, Serena became my fourth work wife and we have become inseparable.

Serena knows Jackie and I’m being honest when I tell you that while they know of each other, they are not close and have never even come close to it.  Much of their contact, if I can even call it that, was nothing more than small talk.  They were cordial, but nothing along the lines of friends.

In adhering to my intent to be transparent and direct with Serena, I told her about the rumors of Jackie’s potential return and if I may use some phrasing that I never use in my normal, everyday vernacular, Serena “felt some type of way” upon my telling her this.  Understandably, I could see Serena’s concern.  You see, Jackie and I were seen as this damn near conjoined pairing in the office.  Everyone had developed this mindset that whenever you saw one of us, the other could never be too far behind.  We worked well together, and we had an understanding as to how we would conduct our business.  Everything just flowed.  Now, as Serena and I got close since Jackie left, we developed our own thing, our own understanding with regards to how we conduct our business.  For the past six months, Serena and I have seemingly become that inseparable duo in the office.  In fact, some people had even referred to Serena as “the new Jackie”.  I knew what that meant, and Serena did too, but a part of me thinks that Serena wasn’t too keen on being referred to as “Jackie”, by any measure or by any description.

When I told Serena about the rumor that Jackie might be returning, she was genuinely concerned that this could actually happen.  See if you follow her logic here because I immediately knew what her concern was.  Serena and I ARE now that duo.  Jackie and I used to be that duo.  Serena is afraid that should Jackie return, that suddenly and without fail, Jackie and I would rekindle everything that we once had and carry on as if she never left in April.  In doing so, this would leave Serena by herself, to where she would have to fend for herself and otherwise work alone.  I suppose there is always the potential for her to find someone else and pair up with them.  These are all potential scenarios, but ones that Serena would never want to see or experience.  The truth of the matter is really quite simple. 

I wouldn’t either.

The way I see it, Jackie and I had our run already.  We had a great time working together and truly, it was fun while it lasted.  When she left in late April, we parted ways, and that chapter of our lives effectively came to an end.  She left for Nevada and moved her entire life there.  I carried on by myself in the office for a few days before Serena came in and made her presence known and felt.  Serena and I got to know each other, spent a lot of time together, and we have developed an amazingly strong bond, one that I’m not looking to sever or change.  I never wanted to say that I replaced Jackie, as much as I merely found someone else with whom I connected and clicked and someone with whom I want to spend my days working side-by-side. 

I try to reassure Serena that I am NOT looking to move on from her and I genuinely hope that she believes me, because as backhanded as this might sound, I don’t want Jackie to come back.  I don’t want to put myself and/or Serena in this odd and potentially uncomfortable situation.  If it matters, Jackie already knows that Serena and I are a “thing” because she asked me this several months ago.  Jackie took me by surprise when she asked me that, but I felt compelled to tell her that I had connected with Serena, if for no other reason, so that she knew.

Serena and I know what we have is genuinely special and she knows that I am not looking to spend my days with anyone else other than her.  Serena knows this because I have told her this time and time again.  I don’t want to “be” with anyone else.  Serena is my work wife now and in some strange way, I am devoted to her and only her. 

I don’t see Jackie coming back.  I just don’t.  I am also of the impression that if she was even considering a return to California, even if just for work purposes, she would have told me during any one of our many early-morning text message exchanges, especially the ones we had this past week.  As of this writing, she has made no such mention, suggestion, or assertion of any return she might be considering.  It has never come up in conversation, to where I highly doubt that this is something she is even thinking of doing. 

Regardless of what Jackie is doing or looking to do, this does not affect me as far as what Serena and I are doing.  Serena is my work wife now and there is nothing that Jackie can do to change that.  I just need Serena to know this and to believe me when I tell her this.  Serena and I have a much stronger relationship and bond than Jackie and I ever did and there is no way that I could ever turn my back on Serena and just walk away. 

One thing that is to be expected with this job is that change is going to happen and rumors about all kinds of things are always going to be floating around.  At least as far as it pertains to me, very rarely do these rumors ever drag me into their narratives.  It looks like these latest rumors not only dragged me into them, but they indirectly brought Serena into the mix as well.

All I can really say is that Serena has absolutely nothing to worry about because when it’s all said and done, she and I will still “be” together and life will go on as we have established it in the days and weeks after Jackie left.  I refuse to allow a rumor to completely destroy everything that Serena and I have created in just these last few months.