Christmas Rambling

So another Christmas has come and gone.

I don’t know how many Merry Christmas text messages I sent today, but suffice to say that it was quite a few.  Maybe I underestimated the size of my personal circle?

As I had said in a previous entry, after the holidays come to an end, normalcy can resume.  I know that we still have New Year’s Day on the horizon, but for me, the holidays will end once 12/26/24 arrives in the next few hours.

I don’t know what 2025 will have in store.  I don’t think any of us do.  In what could be my new normal, I’m not optimistic.

As I close out Christmas 2024, I want to send some warm wishes to a dear friend of mine, who I suspect at the moment thinks that I am complete trash, that somehow I am of this manipulative mindset, and that I’m someone whose supposed downward spiral is just so entertaining to watch.

Amidst all our struggles and challenges, if I could see her in person, I would tell her that I still want to wish her a Merry Christmas.  Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond our control, I don’t have many ways of telling her this, except in my journal here.  She’s been an important part of my life and we’ve grown together during much of the past two years.  She’s been a bright light in my sometimes dark and desolate world.

I’ve told her this and so much more in that span, none of which I feel like jotting down being that I’m quite in that mood, but because of the way that we are getting along of late, I suspect that these words would fall upon deaf ears.

I doubt that she would care, because of the way that she’s been compelled to attack me the way that she has of late.

Still, regardless of how she feels about me or how much she wants to ridicule me for what I do or how I see the world, I know how I feel about her in my heart.  She can down me all she wants, if that makes her feel better.

Tomorrow, I’ll be back to work, bright and early, as I do.  Of course, it won’t be all that bright at 4:45am, but rest assured that I will be working.  I still have a lot to do, though I already know that I won’t come close to finishing it all tomorrow.  There’s a strong chance that I don’t come close to completing it on Friday either.  I’m just looking forward to things slowing down and returning to what I would consider to be normal.  The holidays have been known to be a stressful time, maybe not for me, but I won’t be upset to see December come to an end.