A Valentine’s Day Memory

Another Valentine’s Day in the books, I suppose.  I reached out to Carmen today, for old time’s sake really, to let her know that I was thinking about her.  Many years ago, I had sent her some roses to the office anonymously.  She was surprised to have received these flowers though she had no idea who the sender was.  I think she had an idea that it was me and I even spent some time denying it, making her even more curious as to who this mysterious sender happened to be.  As to not have her go insane by day’s end, I finally confirmed her suspicion and let her know that indeed, I was the one who sent her the flowers.  That was so many years ago and I guess I wanted to send her a subtle reminder today that even after all these years, I was still thinking of her.  If anything, today made me realize just how close she and I were.  I like to think that we are still that close today, even though we no longer work in the same office.

We were so much younger back then.  Carmen and I never dated and we kept our relationship professional, though in the process, we ended up becoming really good friends.  For about 11 years, she was my work wife, though towards the end of her time in our office, she and I tapered off and didn’t spend much time together.  I can’t say why this happened, though this wasn’t something that we did intentionally.  It just sort of happened.  Maybe this unintended separation helped us in the end, in that it made her departure and our parting ways easier to manage.  This doesn’t mean that I didn’t miss her at the time and rest assured that I felt her absence.  Maybe a small part of me still misses her, which I think is what prompts me to send her the occasional text message.  Years ago, she used to tell me that I needed to work on keeping in better touch with her.  It seems that when Chris died in mid-2023, she really felt that we needed to stay in better contact because she was afraid that we would part ways and regret not conversing more than we did.  Interestingly, I think this is what led to us maintaining such improved contact since the middle of last year and I’m glad that we have better communication now.

I don’t want to rule out that maybe one day, I’ll do this again.  I’d have to put something clever in the accompanying card to serve as definitive identification, but I think that with the right words and without ever using my name, she’d know it was me.  I think it helps that I have a way with words, preferably written.

I’m just glad that she was the type of woman who appreciated that sort of gesture.  Though some years have gone by, I believe that she is still that type of woman.  Undeniably, Carmen will always have a special place in my heart.