A Sensory Experience

There’s just something about Serena that is truly special. As extensive as I like think my vocabulary is, I struggle to find the words to describe her to the world as I see her. I see her as beautiful, both inside and out. Interestingly, she doesn’t necessarily see herself this way, which boggles my mind because in the few months that I’ve gotten to know her, it didn’t take me long to see this for myself. She has the kind of personality that can warm up any room she enters and all it ever takes is her smile. At least for me, that’s all I ever need, though I’m glad that I get so much more from her.

For whatever the reason, I am often intrigued by our conversations. Sometimes it’s just for the quality of the conversation because as hard as she might find it to believe, she brings a lot of intelligence and thought to our conversations, even though she thinks that she doesn’t. To be honest, I always look forward to hearing the sound of her voice. I can be anywhere in the office and should I hear her voice, even if I just happen to be walking around and she’s not even talking to me, I find myself walking a bit slower than usual just so I can hear her. Sometimes this will motivate me to walk closer to her and her cubicle. I don’t know if I make it that obvious, but I am convinced that she sees me regardless.

We continue to play those quiet and subtle games with each other, the kind that take place when we’re around others and we want to communicate with each other in a nonverbal way. The most prevalent of these games would be the one where we look at each other and try to sneak a glance without the other seeing. I like to think that I do this very well, though every so often, I think she sees me. The pinnacle of the game occurs when we look at each other and just so happen to catch each other’s eyes, as if to say that somehow, we’ve been caught. When we lock eyes the way we do, we then have to make an on-the-fly assessment and decide whether we smile and acknowledge that our eyes have locked in on each other or show zero emotion and pretend that nothing happened. It’s interesting to put this game into words, because I want to say that as we’re “playing”, we’re just doing it and not really trying to explain it or justify it. It’s a cute little game we play and at least on my end, it’s a lot of fun. Of course, I also say that because it certainly helps that she is very easy on the eyes.

It’s never easy to quantify just how smart someone is, but I know that she always keeps me captivated and intrigued whenever we’re talking. She is never boring and she really does bring quality and substance to our conversations.

Maybe it’s not my job to bring her up, boost her ego perhaps a little bit, and say all of these nice things about her, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it. I know that as outwardly confident as she might seem on the outside, she still needs the occasional pep talk to let her know that she really is a great person on the inside as well.

Rest assured that I take advantage of every opportunity I am afforded to talk her up, even if it means doing so in this here diary.

After all, it’s not as though she’s ever going to read any of this and learn exactly how I feel about her.