Who will save your soul?

‘my heart aches, I’m half a world away’ REM – Half a world away

I think yesterday was the final point for me. I can’t fight them any longer and I no longer care. If I was working there under normal conditions I would say that they are trying to make me quit. I’m not the only one who feels this way either. One of the other women who works with us has been constantly picked on and ganged up against by Sarah and Pete. They are self-serving and don’t seem to give a damn about their teams. I am in two minds as to whether to email our regional manager. I want to, because he needs to know what Pete is like & what will happen should Pete be given the job of website manager, but at the same time I don’t want to leave here with a cloud over my head and I don’t want to sound like some pathetic, whinging girl, which is probably how I come across right now. I’m off today and tomorrow and am expected back on Thursday. I also now have to work 3 day weeks until the end of the month. Oh, I know, 3 day weeks, 4 hours a day on full time pay sounds great, but I’m wasting my time and money here. There is nothing for me to do, no work, no research, nothing. I sit there looking at whichever sites I want to & play freecell for the four hours. Nothing makes me want to leave the company more than the thought of having to work for the pair of them again. So, I try to go on and pretend I don’t care, but I do care and I hate it. I dread getting up in the mornings and getting the train to work. Work shouldn’t be like that, should it?

In good news though, I got a letter from the hospital, where I put a job application in, and I have an interview next thursday. It’s not a fantastic job, in fact it has nothing to do with publishing at all, but it sounds interesting. Of course, knowing me, I’ll be bored within 6 months, but still, it’s money coming in and it’s only down the road, so I could walk to work every morning. It’s a slight pay cut, but anything’s better than working in the environment I am currently in. Anyway, it’s only an interview, we shall see what happens. I’m still hanging out for the deputy editor role, but have to wait until next week at the earliest before I know anything else.

I’m assuming we all saw the news yesterday? I watched Sky when I got home and shook my head in annoyance as they started to propagate the rumour that maybe it was a terrorist attack. Can we say ‘scaremongering’? Jeez. It was a tragic accident. But America is so tightly wound at the moment that it’s inevitable that they would all jump to such conclusions. But, in a few months time, the only people who will still care about it will be the friends and relatives of the people who died. I doubt we’ll have endless memorial services, three minutes silence, etc, etc. Which is sad, because those people died needlessly as well. Such is the fickleness of both the media and the public.

Until there is a next time…

xx