Undertow

“Don’t be scared. You are alive. You are alive.” REM – Electrolite

And a belated happy new year to you all. I hope it’s been a good one to start with at least. Ours started with fireworks in the back yard in the snow and a fair amount of alcohol. Oh and me saying “we get married next year” to Duncan.

I’m spending this month trying to organise wedding things. We went to see a travel agent in newcastle and she is now stalking me. She is desperate for us to go back and meet all her colleagues and choose our hotel. We can’t book until June/July but still. We haven’t definitely decided to go with them either, it depends on the prices but I’m concerned that if I tell her no now I might find her in the seychelles taking our wedding pictures. At the moment the focus is on reception venues. I’ve (finally) got the info I need from local hotels and have narrowed it down to three that we’re going to go and see. Of these three only one looks like we’ll be able to afford it and it’s not the one I’d really like. I’ll have to push this one and see if my dad can get his wallet out as promised. I won’t be holding my breath though.

My mum comes up in two weeks for the initial dress session. I’ve been low-carbing all month (some days more successfully than others) and have so far lost half a stone since new year. Sounds great, but that’s just the weight I put on over christmas. I didn’t eat that much. How can one person put on so much frigging weight in two weeks? It’s a struggle and I spend most of the afternoon hungry cos my lunches are so small and devoid of crisps and chocolate but I’m sure it will be worth it in the long run. I’ve also been exercising as well, using the aerobics tapes from work. I have to send Duncan out of the room each time cos at the moment I feel an idiot bouncing around. My mum’s promised me a yoga mat for my birthday so will be doing yoga as well from the end of the month. And all to look stunning on one day in my life. Seems like such an effort at times for not much. Duncan’s always telling me I look stunning anyway, but he’s biased.

It’s my birthday in seven days. I’m kinda looking forward to it, but i think that’s more to do with having a couple of days off work and Melissa coming down to see us than any actual birthday feelings. We’re all going out on the saturday for a curry and I’m only excited about that cos I’m abandoning the diet for one day and pigging out on naan bread and samosas. The little things, right?

I have made new years resolutions for the first time in a long time. They’re pretty basic – lose weight, get in shape, sort wedding out, save money. I’m also keeping a list of all the books I’ve read this year. Only two so far as I’m struggling with the third – one woman’s journey through South Africa 10 years ago (around the time they elected mandela) she seems very dismissive of the white problems and totally open to the blacks. She slags off the whites and afrikaaners at every oppportunity yet happily takes their hospitality and food and drink for free. I am struggling to see it as anything other than what they term reverse racism (why do they call it this? It’s still racism)

Until there is a next time…

xx