Toy soldiers

Decisions, decisions. I hate making decisions sometimes. I’m fine with the little things – what to eat, where to go when we go out. But put a big life-changing decision in my hands and I start dithering. I think the trick with moving to Newcastle was that I didn’t think about it. It happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to think about it until it was over and by then, there was nothing I could do, I couldn’t take it back so I had to live with the decision I’d made. Which is very much a good thing, don’t get me wrong.

After some more house viewing, we’ve decided against the house in the previous entry. We had made a decision to go for this one and were just sorting out the financials to get an offer put in. But then Faith, our office manager, pointed out this one which doesn’t look much from the front, but has the most amazing garden. It’s out of the city, surrounded by farms but is fairly close to the new metro station they’re building in the area. Both have plus and minuses – the first one in Howdon needs new carpets and a bath fitting as soon as we can afford it. But it’s near to the metro for work and has plenty of space within the house. The second one, in Backworth, is the kind of location I wanted (close enough to be in town by bus in 30 minutes, but far enough out of town so I don’t feel overcrowded) and nothing would need replacing any time soon. It also has stripped and sanded wood floors, which is perfect, just what I’ve always wanted. But it could be a pain for travelling and the bathroom is downstairs off the kitchen and there is no room upstairs – the landing is about a metre square with three doors leading off it. So it felt a little cramped inside. But I think the house could only increase in value and the garden is big enough to build a 20 foot conservatory and still have a decent size garden.

I can’t make decisions. I also have to make a decision about my job. Following someone leaving here, there is another team leader job available, which I have applied for again. But another subtitling company is moving from Leeds to Newcastle early next year and are looking for subtitlers and a senior subtitler. Even the basic subtitler wage is £3k more than what I’m on now but I’d apply for the senior subtitler position, which would probably be around £6-7k more than my current salary. But it’s shift work and I’d have to work in Leeds until they moved to Newcastle – a long trek every day, although they would provide financial assistance for that as well. I just wonder if it’s too much stress considering buying a house and trying for kids is going on as well. There’s also the potential that the guy who just left here (who was a team leader) could be the manager and I really didn’t get on well with him.  But the money would be so nice. It doesn’t help that I’ve found out some people in our office get £20k a year for doing the same job as me, due to a technicality regarding job titles. I’m not even sure if this is legal (so if anyone knows that, some advice would be a massive help.)

I can barely sleep at night worrying about money and the new job, assuming I got it, would be a big help and lift a big weight off my mind. But travelling to Leeds and back every day would soon get too much, especially through the winter. Is it feasible to plan your life on the toss of a coin?

Until there is a next time…

xx