Stretch out and wait

I’m still slightly dazed, tbh. I’ve done countless tests now and they still all come back positive. But I don’t feel very pregnant. Apart from the backache, constant need for sleep and spending half my day in the toilets of course. I still have this thought in the back of my head that maybe I’m imagining the whole thing, that when the midwife comes round she’ll discover it’s all some misunderstanding and I’ll look foolish.

I went to the doctors last Tuesday night, for what it was worth. He basically gave me a booklet thing, the folder my pregnancy notes will be in (which I had to start filling in) and details about the care I’ll get, the scans I’ll get and a booklet on Downs Syndrome testing. He didn’t do another test, he didn’t even check my blood pressure. He did say I could continue with Slimming World if I wanted, there was certainly no excuse not to at the moment as it’s a healthy eating plan rather than a meal replacement plan. I went a bit mental last week, thinking I could eat anything I wanted and promptly put 2 pounds back on. I’m back on the plan this week. Apparently, I should only be putting around a stone or so on over the whole pregnancy, so two pounds in a week is not a good start.

We then did the telling the parents thing. My dad was drunk but complained about being a grandfather before he was 50. He asked me if I could cross my legs till he was 50 (feb 2007) I said no. My mum said a similar thing, although she admits that she expected this, she’s just not quite ready to be a grandparent yet. I think she refuses to grow up still. My sisters were well chuffed and my brother even phoned me to congratulate me as well! Duncan’s mum seemed slightly uninterested by the whole thing. I guess it must be hard for her, her first grandchild and she’s the other side of the world. Apart from a few friends and a couple of work colleagues and you lot, we’ve told no-one else yet. I can’t even be sure how far along I am yet cos of my weird, long cycles. I think I’m 5 weeks today, the doctors think I’m 7 weeks on Thursday. It’s a bit of a difference. Either way, we’re looking at an EDD of early to mid May.

So now all we have to do is move house, redecorate the bathroom, lounge, bedroom and baby’s room, figure out exactly how the hell we’re gonna afford me being on maternity for six months and then figure out exactly how we’re gonna afford the childcare when I go back to work. No matter that childcare will probably cost about half my salary, I have to go back to work. We definitely can’t afford to live on one salary, no matter how cheaply we try and do all this.

Duncan’s getting used to the idea of being a dad, although I had a tough time convincing him that demon was not a good name for my (currently non-existant) bump and not a good way to bond with his child! We’re trying to be relaxed about it all and worry about other things, like the house, right now, but I can’t help looking at baby clothes and bits and pieces. I’m not buying/getting anything until the magic 12 week mark though. It’s tough keeping it a secret at work, especially when I seem to spend a lot of time on pregnancy/parenting forums these days, but I have my promotional interview next week and I’m not letting the cat out the bag until I know the result of that. Fingers crossed though for it, we could definitely do with the extra money now.

Until there is a next time…

xx