Return to Oz

Once, (what feels like) a long time ago, a girl started an online diary. It changed her life. She made friends with people she would never have met otherwise. She met the man who would become her husband through a friend made through her online diary. She got married, had kids, forgot to write and then said goodbye. She didn’t expect to say hello again but when the opportunity came, she jumped at it.

I’ve missed this place more than I really thought I would. I didn’t realise that until I lost it. Until I had no place to go and write whatever came into my head. But I did miss it. I found new ways to cope with the inner ramblings of my mind but this, this feels comfortable again. Like this is where I am meant to write it all down.

In the three years since I lost wrote? I’m still married, still have 2 amazing daughters and am still self-employed. But little things have changed. I’m 40 (that doesn’t look good written down, I’ll be honest) but I feel younger. I run. I actually completed the Great North Run half marathon this year, something I would have laughed at hysterically in the past. I am not a fast runner, I am slow, sometimes I am barely faster than walking. But I do it. We’ve tried to sell our house and buy another only to watch it collapse. But that turned out to be a blessing disguise as Zoe got an academic scholarship to a private school, something we couldn’t have afforded on our new mortgage but that we can just about manage to do right now. How we’ll manage in 2 years for Eloise is something we’ll deal with then.

I am older, wiser, happier, but still I needed somewhere to pour everything out. And for that I am thankful, appropriate for today given it is Thanksgiving in the USA. It feels good to be back.

Until there is a next time…

xx