Life and how to live it

 ‘I hope you had the time of your life’ – Good Riddance (time of your Life) by Green Day

Apparently what it takes for me to return is the end of the site. I was going to download my diary and leave but I couldn’t. I couldn’t just sneak out quietly without saying goodbye to the website that has, quite literally, changed my life. I know I’m not the only one here that can say that; so many lives have been changed by Open Diary. But if it did change my life, why has it been almost exactly 3 years since I last wrote?

Open Diary has been my comfort blanket, my old childhood toy. I don’t need it right now but knowing it was there for when I did need it was a comfort. My life has moved quickly since 2011. Zoe is now 7 and in Yr2 at school, and doing amazingly well – she is bright, creative, beautiful and amazing. Eloise is now 3.5 and in nursery, starting school in September – she is as bright as her sister, a ball of energy, beautiful and amazing. Every day has its challenges but every day also shows me how much they are growing and every day terrifies me that one day, they won’t actually need me any more.

And me? How far have I come? When I wrote Start, my first entry, I was a graduate student playing at being a grown up with a proper job and a flat in London. Today, I am a mum of 2 and self employed. I still get times when I feel like I’m playing at being a grown up but most of the time I’m too busy to think about it. I’ve done the postnatal leader stuff and left and I now provide transcription and research services to anyone who’ll pay (pretty much). I have regular clients! And when I’m not doing that, I’m knitting: I get paid to knit for other designers, I have a few of my own designs for sale and I have a yarn stash that makes me happy.

There’s so much I wouldn’t have without OD – my life in Newcastle, Duncan, some amazing friends – but whilst I mourn the passing of a site that helped me survive more often than I care to think about it, it also feels like it’s time to let go of the security blanket and get the fuck on with it.

For those who don’t already know me on other sites, I can be found on Facebook under my real name, Twitter as @perfectcircle77 and my knitting related blog is here: http://lifewithyarn.wordpress.com

For the last time…
xx