Don’t bother

I kind of feel like that right now. I’m in a slump and don’t seem to be able to lift myself out of it. I feel blocked, like, if I could get through this cycle, then maybe I could begin to move on and properly heal following the miscarriage, but until then, I feel blocked and not quite right.
We signed the contracts for our house, well Duncan signed them. But we’re still no nearer to a completion date. Turns out there’s £11,000 worth of grants attached to the house from the council – it paid for the work needed after the guy had a stroke – and they are waiting on a letter from the council to say what will happen to this and who is, therefore, responsible for removing the stairlift and the bathroom modifications. We also really need to know how this will impact getting the new bathroom in, whether we’ll get anything towards that (although I doubt that very much).
Since the last entry, we’ve been to London for the weekend. Duncan got to go to Highbury and see Arsenal soundly thrash Sunderland and he finally got to see Thierry Henry play. I’m hoping that I’ll get to see the genius that is Henry at St James’s Park next month against Newcastle. I may not be a Gooner but I can appreciate excellent talent when I see it. I spent the afternoon with Helen and some of the London bookcrossers. It was lovely to see WistfulDragon again and finally have a chance to sit down and chat. We’ve met twice before at the Unconvention and never seem to get more than a couple of minutes. I also saw Glasgowgal and her gorgeous engagement ring and we managed to toss round a couple of Uncon ideas for next summer.
I was on the radio last week, promoting bookcrossing in the Newcastle area. I did a 2/3 minute phone interview on the afternoon show on BBC radio Newcastle. I was pretty nervous all day about it – I only found out at 11am that I would be doing the interview at 4:20 but when I got home and got my notes in front of me, I felt fine. I haven’t heard it yet, the producer is sorting out a copy for me as we speak but I doubt I’ll listen to it, I really don’t like the sound of my voice. But it was fun even though we didn’t get any new people to the meet that night and have only had a couple of new members in the area since, despite releasing a bunch of books on Thursday night after the meet. I’m off to Durham on Sunday for an afternoon meet there, which should be fun.
I finally got a chance to speak to the head of subtitling regarding our unprofessional HR woman and her interview feedback. I thought he’d treat me as being rather oversensitive but he was very supportive and said he would definitely be taking it further, I just need to write it all down in a letter for him now, which I’ll do over the weekend. It feels like a weight has been lifted slightly.
I had my tarot cards read by Rivka, who I work with, on Wednesday night during our late shift. The cards showed a good deal of change and turmoil regarding my life at the moment, especially the family card, which showed a great deal of pain. But the good thing was this was past pain, not future pain and my future card was Justice, which means it is all gonna work out in the end, I just need to take it one day at a time and not worry about it right now. It left me feeling a little bit better anyway.

edited to add: I’ve never done this before, in all my years here, but what the hell! Ask me a question, any question you want and I’ll (attempt) to answer it in my next entry

Until there is a next time…
xx