Build it up – tear it down

‘Like a madman laughing at the rain’ Soul Asylum – Runaway Train

The interview went brilliantly. She was seriously impressed with my research and the ideas I had come up with. She told me that the forum & poll ideas showed I’d really captured the mood of the site. The job was perfect for me. Just down the road, working in a small office as a researcher/deputy. My interviewer was the editor/owner of the site & is essentially looking for someone to cover her when she decides to have another baby. She basically wanted to train a replacement. How perfect? I could completely do the job & do it damn well.

BUT (oh come on, who couldn’t spot that coming?) It is initially a part time contract (for three months) and very badly paid. She didn’t say exactly how much, but she did say it would barely be above minimum wage. Which, if I was living at home, or had a rich boyfriend, or didn’t have a bundle of loans to pay off, would be fine, but I had to turn it down. The role is a new one & there may not be that much work initially, hence the part-time only starting position. I felt so disheartened when I got home last night. It is the only publishing vacancy I have seen in Newcastle in the last 3/4 weeks. It looks like I am going to have to stick out at least another winter here. I signed my contract (which was due back today & I promtly left on the lounge floor this morning, damn) and resigned myself to another winter of driving through fog, rain, sleet, snow & frost. *unenthusiastic cheer*

At least I have my weekend to look forward to. We leave for London early on Friday morning, and I mean early – like 8am early. This is because I want to stop in Northampton at the crematorium and place some flowers there for my gran. I think after two years I should be ready to handle that place again. After that it’s a short trip to London, where I have to attempt to negotiate the Finchley Road & Marble Arch all in the same afternoon. I think I will more than earn the drinks I am having tomorrow night. On Sunday we leave London & head for Norfolk to visit my dad. This means we have to drive not only back through London, but also past a whole bunch of American airbases which will probably have ridiculously tight security. Then on Monday, the anniversary of me leaving London last year, we drive home. I’ll probably be shattered by the time we get back.

So Duncan gets to meet my dad, which I suppose should go ok. He keeps thinking that he will hate him, which would at least mean that my dad showed an emotion regarding my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he loves me in his own unique way, he just never shows it. Visits are always awkward, as are phone calls, and I spend the whole time wanting to be somewhere else again. But at least I get yummy Mexican food again & I don’t have to spend the next few months listening to “but he’s met your mum, why don’t you bring him down to stay with us for the weekend?” Wish me luck.

Until there is a next time…

xx