Breathe

‘high on crack, and totin’ a machine gun’ Prince – Sign o the times

I need a new job. If not, you could well see me on the evening news after arriving in work with a gun and taking out the guy I sit opposite. There are only so many times a day someone can take inane comments about advertising (‘what I hate is the way they try and get you to buy stuff’) and complaints about exactly how much work he has and how his meter readers keep leaving. Like that isn’t affecting the whole of the London area right now. People who pretend to know more about a situation/thing than they actually do, they infuriate me beyond belief. I am sick of being told about football stories/news that he has got half-assed and then having to put him right on the whole thing. I laughed when it turned out (as I had said) that the whole ‘Newcastle Utd signing Rivaldo’ story was proved a complete fake. But anyway, a new job will sort everything out. I hope. I just need one.

But tonight I have a confession. I am a junkie. I crave, and desire my fixes and when I get them they are somehow still never enough. I need a fix to get me to work, never mind through it. And when I get a good fix, all I can think about is the next one. Will it be as good? Will it leaving me craving more? They usually do. My drug of choice? Books of any description, but especially Stephen King books. They are guaranteed to leave me desperate to find out what happens next, leave me wanting the bus to break down on the way to work so that I can just read a few more pages. And when the day is slow and I have nothing to do (much like today) then all I can think about is getting to lunch and reading a few more pages, and getting the bus home so I can read a bit more. What I am going to do now that King has announced his intention to stop writing novels, I don’t know. Re-read them all I guess – those fixes work just as well as fresh ones. I’m reading ‘dreamcatcher’ at the moment, just one of the many books that have a bookmark in at the moment (on a side note, I have the most adorable bookmark from Duncan’s mum which has a photo of Duncan aged around 12/13 on it. He hates it, but I absolutely love my new bookmark!). Others include the latest REM book that Duncan bought me from my birthday and a new witchy book. I finished the book on AIDS on Tuesday and am interested in following it up (the basic premis being that scientists played a large part in the spread of AIDS by developing polio vaccines in monkey kidneys that were not completely devoid of viruses and then testing them on an unsuspecting Africa – the white man’s testing ground of the forties and fifties. Although nothing is, or can be 100% proven, it made fascinating reading and sounds plausible enough.) I also have my new writing magazine to make a start on – which I probably will after I log off. My other addictions are not as consuming. ER is one of them though and I cried last night when watching Greene leave work. The guy isn’t even dead yet – I’ll probably flood the flat with my tears when that episode is shown.

I wish I was going to Glastonbury this weekend. I’ve never been. I made it to, the now defunct, Phoenix festival and have been to Reading as well (plus planning a trip to Leeds this year), but never Glastonbury. Mind you I have tickets to the British Grand Prix for the weekend after so it can’t be all that bad – even if I am taking Duncan to meet my grandad. You thought he was bad – just wait till you hear the stories about mine!

Until there is a next time…

xx