My God is a crutch

I was talking to a friend the other day and without thinking I said that I was praying for the strength to get through my final week of classes. I say "without thinking" because I normally choose my words carefully around my non-believer friends so as to avoid a debate, and in many cases to avoid annoying or offending them. I have heard from many friends that to say "I’m praying for you" is a really irritating response to anything, so I try to be respectful of that and just say things like "you’re in my thoughts." They’re prayerful thoughts, but I can keep that fact to myself because there’s no reason to push my own beliefs on someone who isn’t looking for a religious discussion.

So anyway, under normal circumstances I would have said something like "I’m really hoping I can find the strength to get through this week" so as to avoid the comments or debate, but I was tired and just said what was in my head. Which of course led to comments and a debate.

The gist of her argument was that it makes no sense to pray for the strength to get through a week of class when I already have that strength and just need to tap into it. That sure, praying for strength might feel comforting to me, but really all I was doing was using my faith as a way to talk myself into having strength. She summed up her point with the phrase I have heard so many times: "God is just a crutch."

My initial reaction to that phrase is to feel defensive. When people say that, what they are really saying is that people of faith use God as a way to avoid taking responsibility for our own outcomes. That faith becomes an excuse, saying "it was God’s will" takes the place of personal responsibility for our own failings.

I started to argue with this sentiment and then stopped myself. Because….well, really she’s right. For me, God IS a crutch.

When your leg is broken, when you lack the ability to walk on your own, you use a crutch to get where you need to go. You lean on that crutch for support instead of falling over, instead of attempting to hop on your one good leg or just giving up entirely and lying helplessly on the ground.

I am imperfect. I fail at things all the time. But rather than limping along through life with whatever parts of me are still working, I lean on my God. Would it be easier to possess the ability to walk through life without having to lean on anyone? Sure. Is it possible for me? Not at all. So I can either stubbornly limp, hop or crawl my way through, denying that I’m broken and refusing help, or I can reach for my crutch and actually get where I need to go.

When people tell me my God is a crutch, it implies that I am weak. And I AM! I don’t have all the answers to everything, I don’t have the ability to be everything to everyone and still take care of myself. I need help. I need God.

Leaning on God does not mean avoiding responsibility. It doesn’t mean that I don’t take ownership for my own failings. Rather, it means I fully acknowledge the areas where I’m weak, where I have failed, and look to God to lift me up and help me correct it. I don’t expect God to fix my mistakes for me….I simply pray for Him to work within my heart and give me the strength, the courage, or the energy to go on.

So what I finally ended up saying was "yep, my God IS a crutch. And I’m ok with that." I don’t think she got it, but it made me feel a lot better.