What do you mean he’s given up? Give up on life?

Someone left me this note when I wrote about my partner giving up.

I don’t really know but at times, I fear so.

He will be 73 on July 1st and is an insulin-dependent diabetic. Recently he seems to be having heart problms in that his pulse gets erratic and he gets tired. He has been thoroughly checked out by his doctors and they can find no cause.

I have an enormous amount of guilt about this because I can’t help thinking that it is my fault. Before I came to live with him two years ago, he walked many miles and rode a bike and, although he has always had a belly {even when he was much younger, his daughters tell me} he has gained a lot of weight these last two years.

Of course, I KNOW I am not responsible for the fact that he has just about quit biking and walking. He fell on the ice winter before last and broke his ankle and the problems he was having with this were compounded by the fact he slipped again this winter and sprained the same ankle… And, since I was not there on either occasion {I was visiting my kids in the South} of COURSE I tend to think it wouldn’t have happened if I was there…

Like most women, I am really good at taking on guilt. Of course, since I was brought up as a Roman Catholic, I am doubly good at taking on guilt.