Waiting
Good morning!
I am writing this at 5:30am while waiting for Jake to pick me up at 6:30 and take me to the people who will test my heart. My appointment is at 8:30 so why so early? Traffic! Whenever I have an appointment with a doctor I try {at Jake’s request} to make it as early as possible so that he misses as little time as possible at work. This often means he has to battle early morning go-to-work traffic to go to a doctor’s office where usually we have to wait! We both bring our Kindles…
Total change of subject. You might remember I was going to try to grocery shop "little and often" and so far this has been fairly successful. I live very close to a Target store and have been investigating their food section. It doesn’t seem too bad although it is restricted to one or two things rather than the bigger choice I am used to. I noticed, for example, there was no basmati rice and no rye bread. Well, if it will save my back, I can take what they have rather than what I want! The big problem, of course, is that shopping often like this, I could spend a lot more if I am not careful. So far I have done well though. The fact that I have to restrict what I buy because I have to carry it from my car to the apartment makes it easy to avoid temptation. Also, I have a shopping list which helps me not to pick up this and that! I also, for years, have been in the habit of doing a running total in my head as I put stuff in the cart and know pretty well what I will be paying before I get to the checkout. Of course, when Fred was alive, he did all the shopping and he actively hunted for bargains. I don’t do that because even before my back got so bad, my chief objective was to get what I needed and to get out!
One thing I have noticed about this apartment complex is how nice most of the people are. Yesterday I was loading my little wheeled cart from the back of my car and a lady from across the road came over to ask if I needed help. I had forgotten to put the cart in the car so had walked into the apartment with the two heaviest bags in one hand and my cane inn the other, which, looking back on it, was probably a mistake! 
Anyway, I thanked her and said that as long as I was able to do this stuff, I was going to try because sooner or later I was going to HAVE to ask for help! And she is not the first person from the other apartments to offer help. I am not against being helped or even asking for help and have to faced the fact that there will come a time when I can’t do everything I need and want to do so I bear in mind Fred’s comment of "It’s all exercise!" {When we lived up stairs, he would deposit the grocery bags at the foot of the stairs for me with the comment, "Free exercise!"} 
OK, before Jake gets here, I need to brush my teeth and make sure I have everything I need for the inevitable paperwork since this visit is to yet another new-to-me doctor!
An emotion is only an emotion.
It’s just a small part of your whole being.
You are much more than your emotion.
An emotion comes, stays for a while, and goes away, just like a storm.
If you’re aware of that, you won’t be afraid of your emotions.
~Thich Nhat Hanh
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. — Marcus Aurelius