Sunday

Even  though it has been very cold today, I have been out for two walks both 30 minutes. I don’t do more than 30 minutes unless I go up to the school and walk around their running track a few times and if I had gone today the wind would have stripped my skin from my bones. I have this bad habit of not plugging up the IPod to recharge for several days and today, about ten steps from home on the afternoon walk, the battery quit. So now it is recharging in the clutter that is the table beside my bed.

I was having a lot of trouble sleeping last night so at about 1 am, I got up and took half a Klonopin. I woke at 11:30 this morning so that meant my morning was only 30 minutes long! I will not take one tonight. I really HATE sleeping late–well, that late, anyway. I feel as if I have lost all my productive time. This, of course, is silly since I still have some energy left at 5:30 pm. Mind you, if I had got up at my preferred 7 am, I would have run out of energy about an hour and a half ago. Back when I was working on Tuesdays, I worked until 5 pm and in the last hour it was actually a real physical effort to get things done. And I used to come home and fight off sleep until about 10:30 because if I went to sleep sooner, I woke at 4 am which is too early to get up even for me! I have hopes that once Fred is through with this surgery and we know what is coming next, maybe I will go back to my normal sleeping patterns.

This coming week, Fred has his phone interview with a nurse on Tuesday and then on the 14th, which is the week after, he has the surgery. I am guessing he will get told at the phone interview what time the surgery is scheduled for. We have talked about various things recently like the necessity of making sure the doctor knows he has to walk up a flight of 14 steps to get home. We have also talked about what clothes I need to bring for him when he is ready to come home. He will have a big scar up his middle so he doesn’t need anything tight around there. {I am particularly aware of this because when he brought me clothes to go home in after my endometrial cancer surgery, which also involved a big scar up the middle of my stomach, he didnt think of this and I had to pin the shorts to the T-shirt because there was NO way I could zip and button them up!} We are both saying to each other a lot how glad we will be to have this surgery over and done with. Of course, there is the biopsy result after that to be concerned about because that result bears directly on whether or not he has to have chemotherapy. Anyway, I have gone back to saying what was my mantra during bouth my bouts with the two different cancers: “Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” In other words, don’t worry until you know!

Tomorrow is laundry day so I probably will only get in one walk. I must also remember to take the trash downstairs. It seems to be piling up alarmingly.

Until later..