Patrisha

September 23, 2012

Some Introspection

I went out to dinner with OD diarist VeronicaCorningstone last night and, since I am trying to eat a little more adventurously, I had something Jamaican with shrimp. It was delicious and spicy but, as usual, my digestive system is doing a little complaining! Well, all I can say is it needs to learn that I am not going to stop trying new foods! I don’t want to give the impression this reaction is really bad. It isn’t. I am just feeling a small amount of discomfort and making sure I have half an anti-diarhorrea pill handy!

Today it is almost cold. We have the air conditioner off and the windows open and I am wearing one of the two long-sleeved tops I brought with me. I also have a long knitted jacket that I wear when traveling since airports and planes are always chilly. Actually, I prefer chilly to hot any day. However, one thing I must do in a few minutes is put socks on. I feel that cold is so much worse than it is if my feet are cold, so, short pause while I go dig out some socks. Done, and I have my knitted jacket on, too.

Total change of subject here. I was reading The Woodsprite’s entry this morning and she was talking about how Wiccans feel that

"…the autumn of the year is about SURRENDERING. The summertime is giving way to the cold of winter. It is symbolic of that stage of life during which youthful vitality gives way to old age and eventually, death. And in our culture, the whole concept of surrendering is frowned upon most severely, isn’t it? To surrender….that’s considered a great fault, a sign of weakness. But there is a time when surrendering is what is meant to BE. To give in, with grace and dignity, as the trees lose their leaves. To concede that one is past ones prime and that it is OKAY to grow old, to let younger people take over some of the things, and to let it be SEEN that we are indeed growing old."

{I would give you a link but she is Friends Only, or at least this entry is!} And, as often happens, she gave me something to think about. I have pretty well come to terms about how my appearance is changing now I am the the age I am. Since I have never been beautiful, nor, actually ever wanted to be beautiful, on the whole, I like how I look. I am very pleased with the calmness I feel after menopause. Monthly hormone fluxes made it very hard for not only other people, but for me to live with myself and I am pleased to be rid of them. It was also a great blessing that I had a very easy menopause. But what I have a difficult time with accepting is the loss of energy, of "youthful vitality."

I realized this morning while reading what Nikki wrote is that that I need to work on accepting the fact that I will never be able to do what I used to do, and especially I will never be able to hold down two jobs again. It is not that I actually want to do this again but I am apparently holding this in my head as a standard of energy that I need to get back to! I often find myself thinking that physically I will not give up as I saw Fred giving up, but perhaps he wasn’t giving up. Perhaps he was conceding he was past his prime. I wasn’t in his body and don’t know what he felt. I DO know that he was a big fan of listening to his body… It is, I think, going to be a difficult line to walk. Sometimes my body benefits by being physically pushed a little but, on the other hand, I know there have been times when I have pushed too hard and needed a couple of days to physically feel normal again.

A lot to think about.

Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone. ~Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers)

Tornado

September 24, 2012

Loved this entry!

Violet

I think I prefer Dylan Thomas’ poem: DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rage at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not gogentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the lig

I’m not crazy about the idea of surrendering. 🙂

gray tabby

i read nikki’s entry this morning and it made me think, too. i know there are things i can’t do anymore as easily as i used to. i go to the gym so i can stay strong and do the things i want to do. i get tired so much quicker and it bothers me. i know in my heart i’m getting older and slowing down but i keep trying to do like it did even 15 years ago. ain’t gonna happen!! i guess we gotta accept the way things are for us at this moment in our lives. prayers for you. take care,

Definitely some good things to think about there. It’s hard to grow older, hard to see the changes in our face and our bodies, hard to suddenly realize that somewhere along the way, we crossed that line from taking our health for granted, from having the energy and stamina to do anything we wanted…. to having to slow down, getting tired sooner, asking for help doing some things we once would have done on our own. It IS a natural part of the path we’re all on, and if we can learn to accept it with grace and peace, we’d be much happier.

I love thinking about autumn in that way. Maybe that’s why after nearly a year of grief, I’m finally feeling more like myself. Thanks for sharing!

Orange Sorbet

I must admit that I’m not happy about getting older. I hate my wrinkles and want to be young again!

Nicole

Love this! And, I’m loving your notes on my entries. Thank you!

What a wonderful entry… it brought to mind an entry I did up back in 2001 to get some typing practice in. It was my mothers favourite story and was read at her funeral. I think you would like it: http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A312826&entry=10102&mode=date Like so many of your noters, I try to accept the fact I’m getting older, but it is so hard to admit I can’t do what Ionce used to….

SphinxMinx

Good advice I think for any age. I am learning to accept that I’m not 20 any more, not even 30 any more and some days it is easy, some days it is not. My knees click going down stairs and my hands and feet swell if I have too much salt. Just like an aging car that needs more maintenance and less punishment, the body is dictating the pace it needs. We just need to listen.

TheWoodsprite

I feel much the same way you do…. though I’m not your age, I am definitely agING. Though I did used to wish I could be beautiful, since I got tormented through high school about my looks…. I LOVE being of an age where, frankly, it doesn’t really matter to much of anyone if a woman is “beautiful” or not! And I surely do not miss periods OR PMS. I am sometimes surprised when I am hit smackdab with clear evidence that I am not as fast as I used to be, though….and am, I guess, kinda dismayed that I have arthritis bad enough to require me taking Aleve every day NOW, so I wonder what it’ll be like when I’m 60 or 70?! I don’t behave very gracefully when I’m in pain. So far, I don’t really mind having trouble doing things, but I do prefer to feel well. hugs, Nicky

Eyes in the mirror

A lot to think about here. I am nearing 50 but I don’t feel any thing like “old”, or rather, how I thought old would feel. Chuck keeps finding these elderly people, men and women, online that are runners and body builders. Many of whom started when they were middle aged or beyond. It reminds us that it is not to late to start getting in better shape. I hope that I will not go gentle.

Dangnabbit

September 25, 2012

Saying hi! I hope to be back reguarly and I will try to catch up with you soon.

MargUK

Food for thought right enough – great entry!

I like that description of autumn. 🙂