Punishments and Rewards

I was thinking today about rewards and punishments.

I have worked all my life, married or single. I had always paid my own way and was proud of it until I married a Southern Good Ole’ Boy. One of the things I learned early in my marriage was money that women made didn’t count. I worked all day and came home at night and was expected to cook, clean and do laundry. And I bought into it, folks! I thought that was what a “real wife” did. But I digress.

The money I earned didn’t count when it came to having a say in how it was spent, so naturally I learned to feel horribly guilty if I spent any money on myself or on anything that was “frivolous” for me. I was allowed to buy clothes to wear to work, but you wouldn’t believe the outcry it caused when I spent money I had earned on a guitar for myself even though I got it for a very good price at a pawn shop. {Can you tell I am still angry about this.?} Anyway, I slowly came to realize that any time I spent money on myself, I “punished” myself by doing something I hated like housework. I bought a pair of earrings and punished myself by spending the whole of the following weekend, all of Saturday and Sunday, cleaning the house.

Well, time passed. I got a divorce and more time passed. I slowly got back my self-esteem and started making the connection between spending money on myself and the “punishing” I was doing. Of course, as soon as I realized clearly the connection here. I realized how foolish I was being {and my house was a lot less clean!}

This morning I caught myself planning a reward for myself because I have started back riding my bike again. {Five miles this morning…} I am really pleased that I am thinking this way…rewards are much more effective than punishments.

When {NOT if} I get back up to ten plus miles a day three days a week, I am going to replace my plain-vanilla white helmet with a jazzy colored one that will accept my ponytailed hair more comfortably! Stay tuned! I WANT that helmet…