Next Test

• I just went for a slow 10 minute walk. Ten minutes is better than nothing and since it is all I can do at this time…
• Yesterday was a pretty good day except for the evening. I went to bed at 11 pm but not  to sleep until  5 AM. I am not tired but feel a bit draggy.
• The final test of my heart is on December 2nd at 8 AM and it is {EEEK!}  a fasting test! I hate fasting tests because my body demands food pretty well within the first hour of feet meeting floor. If I don’t eat, I get pretty irritable and, what is worse, physically very shaky. Anyway, after the first part of the test is done, there will be a  pause wherein I am given  a "small amount of radioactive material." Then after waiting 30 – 45 minutes, a set of pictures is taken. I have the stress part of the test next which needs electrodes placed on my chest. This is followed by more radioactive material. AND "after this part of the test, you may be permitted to eat!’ {My purse will have a big water bottle and several bananas! Or, hmmm, Panera’s is very close so maybe I can get Jake to take me there for lunch! The sheet I am quoting from says I can go out for lunch, honestly!}  After that, more pictures which may have to be repeated if they are not clear! Oh, it is going to be a FUN day, right? The whole thing is going to take between three and four hours. 
• BUT! Unless something not good is found, the next step will be surgery. I imagine this will not be scheduled until the new year.  At this point, the "burned" part of the colon  {from past radiation in 2000} will be removed and the remaining largest polyp will be removed and checked to see if there is cancer. {The other two polyps were non-cancerous}.   There is also yet another, different "burned" piece of the colon which will be removed. Then all this gets to be be joined together in a way which will hopefully allow me to digest and poop in as "normal" a way as possible. 
• Dr: "Well, I am not sure what I am going to need to take out  and how I am going to connect all the parts until I actually SEE what is in there…"
• But once I am over that, I hope I can have my life back. That is my plan, anyway…

An emotion is only an emotion.

It’s just a small part of your whole being.

You are much more than your emotion.

An emotion comes, stays for a while, and goes away, just like a storm.

If you’re aware of that, you won’t be afraid of your emotions.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. — Marcus Aurelius