Mostly Me Stuff

I actually got to have a massage yesterday. I can’t say I feel any better {more about that later} but my skin feels great. I have a dry skin normally and as one ages, the skin tends to get dryer. Because it had been so long, I was shedding skin almost like a zombie! Well, I AM exaggerating but not much!

How am I feeling? Exhausted. I went to bed at 7 pm last night! I didn’t fall asleep immediately since I always read in bed but I would say I was reading less than an hour… I woke at 5 but didn’t get up until 6 am. I feel depleted. Yes, that is the word. Every little thing is an effort. I had left a bunch of flowers on the kitchen table before I went out to see Fred yesterday and I had to FORCE myself to cut the stems shorter and put them in the vase before I went to bed. I have no energy left at all. The slightest request looms over me as if I was being asked to muck out the Augean stables. Today is the day I go with Fred to the urology appointment at the hospital. I am trying not to think about it because If I do, I know it will feel like a huge burden hanging around my neck. To put this is perspective, normally when I go to see a doctor I am the one who whips out a list of questions… To make matters worse, I am pretty well living on bread and cheese. I get hungry but I am too tired to prepare a meal for myself. The bread and cheese is there and easy to fix.

Ok, so having stated the problem, what can I do about it? {This is how writing works for me. Writing about any problems I may have clarifies them, and the next step is finding solutions.} Well, an immediate in-the-short-run quick-fix, is not to go back to the rehab place with Fred after the appointment but to go home and rest. That is my first thought but then I know that I will probably not feel so tired once I have got dressed and am out.  And I know if I do this, he will be disappointed since he looks forward to seeing me. {Oh, pause here to go to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.} I am back with a bagel and cream cheese and the coffee is making.  I am going to put these problems aside for a while and just deal with what I have to do this morning.

• put the mail out to be picked up. {Rent check will be among them  since landlord FINALLY gave me an address to mail it to}
• put stuff Fred has asked for out on kitchen table so I see it on the way out.
• I have a list  of his medications—a total waste of time since they are all on the computer at the hospital, but he asked for them.
• Find a street map of Burlington. I don’t know why he wants this unless he is planning the Great Escape! {making jokes helps a bit.}
• Put clothes in the machine to wash. This will be after I come back from the hospital visit.
• When I am at the rehab place, find out if the meeting with the case worker is tomorrow or Wednesday and what TIME it is… This is another thing I am trying not to think about, but I think I probably should write about my thoughts on how medicare patients are treated…

Ok, the coffee is ready so I am going to get some.  More later— maybe.

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks,

breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.

— Mary Lou Cook

"We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change." — Katherine Hepburn

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.

You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. ~ Dr. Seuss