Monday Evening
I have already written one entry and deleted it so if you saw it and wondered where it went, it went that-a-way {pointing towards the trash can.}
I did a seriously stupid thing tonight and alienated {possibly permanently} a friend whom I have had for over ten years. Oh, well, only time will tell if he will get in touch with me or not.
Beth, my massage person called to reschedule the two massages I have had to cancel. I told her I will have to cancel indefinitely. I can’t go off and leave Fred alone for two hours until he is MUCH better…
Today I have:
- Lost my pedometer around the house twice, and found it both times
- Cried a lot
- Washed, dried, and put away three machine-loads of clothes
- Washed dishes twice.
- Had it pointed out to me by my sister that I clean when I am stressed. She is right.
- Paid the cable bill. {The televisions have not been turned on for a week.}
- Talked to the visiting nurse.
- Realized that I really REALLY dislike it when Fred calls me his nurse. I haven’t told him this.
- Done nothing about getting a better vacuum cleaner except mutter a lot as I dragged Fred’s 20 year old canister around the floor.
- Got a notice that my annual “13th check”, my cost-of-living raise, has been deposited in the bank. Of course, I went to check, and there it is!
The temperature here right now in the Champlain Valley of Vermont is minus 10 degrees which feels like minus 24 degrees says the desktop weather program. Tomorrow the high for the day is forecast to be a toasty 25 degrees! I might even get a walk in.
Ok, I am off to bed to continue reading Stiff by Mary Roach…
Until later {which may well be in a couple of hours–I feel insomnia coming on…}
Perhaps your friend will realize how stressed you’ve been with Fred’s illness and forgive you?
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So sorry you are so stressed out… The crying is another symptom of tireness (even if the klonopin knocks you out)–probably a mental tiredness…the worry and the stress with Fred. And I just thought of something–this might be the reason your quitting your job felt so “right.” So you can be home to care for him. Still, it isn’t easy. Hugs,
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I hope you can manage some sleep and will feel much less stressed.
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Oh dear! You do sound stressed, and with good reason! I hope your friend forgives you for what has to be an understandable lapse. I hope tomorrow feels way better.
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Crying happens because it needs to…nature’s relief valve… You have so much on your plate right now… Cut yourself some slack, and take it easy. It will all be ok in the end. Love you! Here if you need me!!!!!!! ~M
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that book rocks! Made me realize what to do with my body once my life is over with…. And sorry to hear about Fred. If you get a new vacuum, I highly recommend a bagless, we have a Eureka Maxima, 70 bucks at Wal-Mart and it rocks!
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also, a true friend will forgive whatever it is.
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A friend of that many years will probably get back with you in the very near future.
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This is a very stressful time for you. Maybe when things have settled down a bit you can call your friend and mend fences. Hugs,
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Your friend probably knows you well enough to forgive you, your outburst, she must be able to see your under so much stress. You don’t realise how much stress your understand, and as the pressure lifts, it will dawn on you, then you will be amazed at how well you really coped. Dont worry time is a healer, your sure to feel bettter soon. hang on in there, you are more amazing then you think
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hmmmm, my house is a mess, can you come visit me when you’re stressed please. : )
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I agree with Happy Trails. You are stressed out and allowances need to be made. We all get that way from time to time. I know i do and I apologize either ahead of time or after. Yep, I can tell ahead of time. Sleep well friend, you deserve it. It was almost 70 here today. Started out in sweats, switched to a t-shirt later on. Keep warm.
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it’s no wonder you’re feeling stressed and crying so much. you’ve been under a whole lot of pressure in the past couple of months. crying releases some of the pressure. i hope you can find the time to rest and take care of yourself. it’s tiring taking care of someone else. take care,
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Oh, I wish I had the bug to clean when stressed! That’s a good one, Patrisha. I am happy to find you back here, not private entry & know you are OK. Have you been in touch with the family doctor, will he visit & care for Fred? This is all so worrisome. Love, Anna
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Keep Fred in line, P;) I am sure the rift with your friend is not as bad as you think.
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It is a stressful time, and I hope you’ll be forgiven by your friend and find some restful time for yourself soon. I have learned that you have to care for yourself at such times in order to care for others, and have noticed that’s the hardest thing of all.
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hugs
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It’s disturbing to be at odds with old friends, isn’t it? When that happens to me, I start saying the mantra: “Lord, I am thine & [name] is thine. Please restore us to peace & harmony.” Works every time (but not always in the way you think it should). Wishing you some respite from the stress — time to read, or meditate, or just veg in front of the tv if that’s what’s calming for you.
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I hope the friend sits down and realizes the stress. I might also make a comment to Fred that if you are his “nurse” then a paycheck with the same salary will be expected????
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