Just Some Thoughts

When I started physical therapy with Leslie last week, I told her that my goal was to get onto that plane on the 19th of September walking without the cane and without a limp. So, today, she made a comment about it and I asked her if she really thought I could do it in the time I have left. She said, "If I was a betting woman, I would bet on it!" Now, I am quite aware that if it is going to happen, it will happen because of the work and effort *I* put into it. But, nevertheless, I was cheered by her comment! Not that I will feel like a failure if I still have to use the cane. The strength in my left leg will return when it is time for it to return and as long as I have done what I am told to do by the professional people who know what they are doing, things will be as they are supposed to be.

The hardest part of all this has been something totally unexpected. It has been how difficult I find it to not be able to do all the things I used to take for granted that I could do. I actually quite like keeping a house moderately clean and orderly. It is not that I am passionately attached to sweeping floors, or that I am a neat freak, but I have become very frustrated by the fact that that jobs that used to take me, oh, 10 to 15 minutes now take considerably more time and effort. I am thinking now of the kitchen floor  which I used to clean thoroughly every three to five days and which now has the spots and spatters of a month untouched by brush or mop!

Another difficult thing for me to deal with is how quickly I run out of energy, too. I am usually up around six AM and in the days before this surgery, I would have most of the housework and tidying for the day done before Fred got up. Now I am ready to return to bed to rest, if not to sleep by 10 am. Of course, being positive about this, right after the surgery, it used to be that I got up to use the bathroom and brush my teeth — and that was it for the day!

Next week I get to use my car. I am feeling optimistic and positive about this now. I have done lots of visualization and even, as someone suggested, have gone out and sat in the car and started the engine. Everything felt very normal. Something else to look forward to is that one of my three physical therapy sessions next week will be in a pool. I love swimming. It, and walking, are the only athletic things I do, and I really enjoy both of them.

Things I hope to have done by this time next week:

• clean kitchen floor
• find bathing suit before Thursday!
• get books back to library {after I can drive}
• do physical therapy at home
• walk daily. First objective is around the block and then up and down our street which will be half a mile. I would like to be able to say I have done this by next Friday.

QUOTATION: If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed.

— David Viscott

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