Introspection*
It was really odd to feel sorry for the mouse when I saw him on the sticky trap this morning. He so wanted to run away and he couldn’t. It sounds silly to say it hurt my heart but it did…
I have been thinking a lot about how I am feeling these days. Not so much physically although that too, but mostly how lonely I am feeling. I had friends and good neighbors in Vermont and since I had lived there fourteen years, I knew the town and where everything was. I had the art studio as a place to take classes and several favorite restaurants. Here, I know no one except Jake and Kate. I am less scared of going places I need to go than I was when I first got here, but driving is still stressful. So far I have been nowhere except to buy groceries and to doctor appointments.
I was going to say "I am not complaining about this," but am realizing that is exactly what I AM doing! I need to get out and find something I want to do, a place I want to visit. I am so burned out about doctor visits that I haven’t even called the physical therapy people. I need to get the dammit cell phone business sorted out and I am avoiding that, and yet once again I am hearing that my bank and the credit union still cannot transfer money from one to the other. Social security have contacted me and my check will be in the credit union in May. Total silence from the teacher’s pension people in Mississippi although I downloaded the correct form and filled it back and mailed it to them. If the payment from there goes into the Vermont bank rather than the credit union here in NC in May, I guess I will have to call them and talk to someone. I don’t want to do this. I want to wake up tomorrow morning and find it all done.
The main problem is me. I don’t want to do any of this stuff. I want to hand it over to someone and say, "Do this for me."
Putting on my big girl panties and moving on…
Positive things:
- All the boxes are open.
- Physically, I am feeling well.
- I love my new Kindle paperwhite..
- Some of the piles of "stuff "are disappearing.
- All of the missing things that I was looking for while unpacking have turned up.
- I love my Dyson vacuum. It does a wonderful job on the carpet. I read good things about the dusting brush but haven’t tried it yet.
- I should have no more mice since the hole it got in by is blocked with steel wool.
Tomorrow :
- Buy groceries—well, if nothing else, I do need bread.
- Continue searching for my light summer duvet. This time, I am pretty sure *I* have put it somewhere…
Keep on keeping on. I admire you. Sending you (((hugs))).
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Moving a distance is hard. You will get more home feeling I am sure when you feel like you know your way around. I hate paper work and dealing with office stuff.
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I don’t think you are complaining at all. I totally understand that you must feel lonely,not to mention sick and tired of all the annoying setbacks. Making a plan to get out and do something fun or interesting is a good way to escape from all that. I felt sorry for the mouse, too.
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Oh Patrisha, I am so sorry you are not feeling “at home ” yet. Even though Elton and I didn’t move very far away, it is still far enough that we don’t really know anyone down here but our one set of friends so I understand where you are coming from. Maybe with spring here you can get out a little easier and Make some friends at your complex. Or maybe there is a park nearby? Regarding the steel-
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wool, the only problem we have found with this idea is that it will block the mouse/mice from using that hole but eventually it/they will chew through another one. Try to stay positive! Hugs,M
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It does not sound silly, what you said about the mousie, at all. We only used the glue traps one time, because it nearly broke my heart. All it did was stick the mouse to the glue pad, and then I had to kill it, because I wasn’t going to let it die a slow death. I’ll never use them again! And I sympathize with you sooooooooo much. It just plain sucks when we are stuck with something that we “HAVE” to do….really do “HAVE” to do!!!!!….that we do not like, and yet no one can really do it for us. But then again, wait…. perhaps Jake could deal with the phone company for you?? Frankly, I have learned (through dealing with my brother’s business after he passed away) that sometimes these places give those of us who happen to have women’s voices a great big run-around, but put a MAN’S voice on the other end of the phone line and something finally gets done. So I had Joe deal with some things, after I had gotten nothing but run-arounds and was fed up. It shouldn’t be that way in this society now, but unfortunately it still is!! You will find things you want to do soon. You have been through a lot and need a chance to recover from it all! hugs, Nicky
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Maybe there is a reading club or museum nearby to venture forth to one of these days.
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*hug*
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It is a big adjustment to move to a new place, and I think the older we get and if we don’t have a job to go to (to help us meet people and feel integrated into the area) the more challenging it is, but you’ll get there. I would have felt bad for the mouse too.
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There is a great museum just off the inner beltway west of NCSU campus. Between campus and museum is Meridith U. A women’s U with lots of programs. This is a nice area with lots of energy. Bee well;peace…dan
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It takes time to settle into a new place… and you’re having more than your share of beurocratic hassles. (huggles)
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I feel sorry for the mouse too – I hope the man who took it away was kind to it but I have a feeling …… I think you’ve done marvellously since you moved – you’ve really kept at it but not been silly and done too much either – now you probably have more time for the effect to hit home but once you start to go places and get to know some folk it’ll gradually start to feel better. It’sa big upheaval moving house without moving location too!
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Many hugs. Have you explored any art groups there in NC yet? I think that would do you a world of good. And yes, I do understand about feeling isolated. Can Jake help you with any of the paperwork and getting things sorted out? It’s never a crime to ever ask for help.
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One thing at a time & it will all come together for you! Look how much you’ve accomplished since you got there. Sending hugs & good thoughts your way! Take care!
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