Feeling better

I am easily amused, but that is no surprise to anyone who has been reading my diary for a while! Today I was out cutting back the dead vines from the fence. I want to try putting up a bird feeder on the window again and the vines prevent me from getting to the window. Anyway, the easily amused thingy–my cell phone rang and I answered it and I was amused that I could have a conversation with someone while outside and using vine cutters!

I want to record how much better and how much more like my old self I am feeling.

• First, it is book group today and I am not trying to back out of it. It is not only because it is my choice of book this month but I am actually looking forward to seeing everyone!
• I started cleaning and reorganizing my art room. It is not finished yet but I know what needs to be done next. When it is finished, I shall start painting again. To put this in perspective, I haven’t picked up a paintbrush since last October. When Fred died in May, I actually avoided the room for a couple of months even though my IMac is in there. I have a laptop in the living room and that is what I used.
• Yesterday I charged up my Nano and refilled it with music of my choice and today I walked around the apartment doing stuff that needed to be done and singing along with the music in my ears.
• "Doing stuff that needed to be done" is something I have had difficulty with until lately. I showered and had clean clothes all through the bad time but I didn’t clean the apartment or cook for myself for a long time. Now I have the goal of cooking something three times a week and am doing this easily. I am not doing as well as I was with regular housecleaning but the bare minimum is getting done, and even better, I am not totally exhausted when I do this stuff.
• I have a new mantra by Percy Bysshe Shelley which you will find below. I still do a bit of weeping at times but it doesn’t go on for days and days. I will always miss Fred.

I have to go right now and get myself organized and get something to eat before J. comes to pick me up for the book group…

Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.

Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) English Poet

Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone. ~Fred Rogers (Mr. Roger