Checking for Cancer and Boob-Squeezing

Tomorrow I have two appointments at the hospital. In the morning at 9 am {“uncivilized hour” says my partner} I go to see my gyn-oncologist, the man who removed all my reproductive system and the cancer growing therein, and 15 lymph nodes in April of last year. And in the afternoon I go for my annual boob-squeeze, the mammogram.

This is the first time I will have ever gone for a cancer checkup without the panic that I have cancer yet one more time. The panic was so bad when I went three months ago that I asked for a referral to someone who could help me, and the gyn-onc referred me to the Shrink Who Answers His Own Phone. Three visits {and a prescription for Ativan} and I was cured! Well, no, not exactly. But I have a plan, and, as I have mentioned before, I am very calmed by having a plan.

This time I expect to be told that the gyn-onc will want to see me in four months instead of three since it has been a year since my surgery and radiation. I get a chest X-ray every second visit, my idea, because I am convinced that every little cough is lung cancer. If all goes as the doctor laid it out for me, this coming year I will have visits four months apart, the year after, six-monthly visits and once a year after that. I LIKE a doctor with a plan! However, I do not look forward to telling him I STILL do not have an appointment for a colonoscopy which he said my primary care doctor would refer me for. I am tempted to let it go because from what I hear, this is NOT a fun procedure, but if there is one thing I have learned it is that a cancer caught early is a cancer that can be dealt with…

In the afternoon, I go for a mammogram. What is done here is that I lay one boob on an area indicated by the technician. She then lays another plate on it and proceeds to squish me with a fair amount of pressure! Now, I am a lady who fills a bra quite well, and this procedure is uncomfortable for me , but I can imagine it could be very painful for my smaller-breasted sisters. I then stand there feeling very foolish until she checks that it “took” and then she proceeds to do the other one!

What I am going to do is to put my bike on the back of my car and go down to Lake Champlain and ride for a while after the cancer checkup. The boob-squish isn’t until 3 pm so I will have time to go home and get a shower before I go.

So, imagine me spending the whole day ensuring that if I DO have cancer yet again, I will find out. Hmmm. pass the Ativan please…