Bullets

•  Something to remember is that if I take a 4 hour "nap" in the middle of the day I shouldn’t be surprised to find myself bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 2 AM!
• I have a new cell phone. If I keep it away from vomit, and I don’t lose it in the car, maybe I can keep this one a while. It is only a basic phone–no bells and whistles.
• Because of this sciatica which makes walking difficult because of the pain, I have not emptied the recyclable bags for some considerable time.  Although the sciatic leg is getting better slowly, it still gives me pain hence no trips to the dumpsters. But the non-recyclable trash container is getting to the I-can’t-squash-this-stuff-down-any-more state and it smells! So. Tomorrow both kind of trash get loaded into the car and taken to where they belong.
• It occurred to me today that I am putting off doing ordinary day-to-day stuff because I am in waiting mode. I haven’t actually put it into words until today but what I am doing is avoiding the day-to-day upkeep jobs that I normally do because if I DO have cancer, well, there will be no point, will there… But this is not a way of thinking that I need to encourage. I am sort-of cooking for myself and I need to be doing the other things, too—vacuuming, washing and putting away clothes and tidying up. I will do some of that tomorrow. I will definitely do the trash runs tomorrow.

"Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." from the Sermon on the Mount in the Gospel of Matthew — Matthew 6:34

 Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?

– Jalaluddin Rumi

 If not me, then who?

If not now, then when?