09/30/2012
It occurred to me this evening that I have been wallowing in my sadness. I only got up and got dressed at noon today because I had a prepaid massage appointment at 1:30. I made the mistake of not eating before I went but that made me enjoy more my sandwich from the Subway I have recently realized is just up the road from where I live.
I don’t do well with loss of control in my life. I have GOT to move. Now I am the only one paying the rent, the truth is I can’t afford this apartment. Every month I am here, I have to take money from my savings and that leaves me very scared. Yes, I AM doing something about moving but right at this moment there is nothing I can do but wait for people over whom I have no control to send me information. I can do nothing until I get this information. Well, I can cry and stress and worry and, believe me, I am doing a very good job in that way. What has made me realize I can’t go on like this is that I have been having the being-stabbed-in-my-back-with-needles preliminary pain of an attack of shingles. Yes, I am one of those people who react to severe stress by getting shingles…
Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone. ~Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers)
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am ‘I’? And if not now, when?
– Hillel
One of my other faves just had an attack of the shingles, stemming from some life stress, as well. I had a doctor once who told me that some physical symptoms I was having was due to stress (duh!) and that I should “just go home and forget about them.” I never felt like hitting someone more than I did right then. Easier said than done! I hope the massage did much to calm your jangled nerves enoughto soothe things down. Maybe another visit to the talk therapist is in order?
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Ugh! Shingles. I’ve had it (them) three times. Like fire. Get better soon.
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Have you gotten the shingles vaccine shot? Some people still have shingles after getting it but most of the time it is s lighter episode. I had them in 2009 but I recognized the symptoms and went to the Dr even before I broke out. He told me I didn’t have them. Two days later I was back in his office beginning to get blisters. I had read that if you get treatment within 72 hrs of breaking out they are less severe. I didn’t have a bad episode but it was under my boobs and in the middle of aTexas summer. I waited for a couple of months and got the vaccine. I wasn’t even stressed about anything! Hope you feel better soon. They only give the vaccine to 60 and over. I think that is silly b/c all ages get them.
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oh no! shingles, shingles, go away!!!!!!! hugs, Nicky
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I like Woodsprites answer to it. I imagine the difficulty of your situation makes it hard to just breathe at times. You may not be able to control the effect other people have on your future but right now is all yours and all you can do. So for this moment in time what can you control? Breathing, heart rate, bowel movement. See? you are in control! (hoping humor helps) (((HUGS)))
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i can imagine how it must feel to you to be living there in that apartment and not be able to afford it. it must be like torture to have to put your life on hold til someone else comes thru with the information you need to get control of your life. prayers things start getting done quickly for you. take care,
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Change is hard, even when we know it’s inevitable… and the waiting for it is even harder. Look after yourself! (and run to the doctor for shingles medicine – if they get it to you quick enough it can cut the attack way down. (huggles)
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Do you see your therapist soon? You should talk to her about the feelings you are having. Between her and us I am sure it will make you feel better. Also, talk to your son and tell him about how you feel with the trip..he will probably understand, and you might be able to work something out. Any word on the contractor yet?
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Can you get an appointment with your doctor right away – or go to a walk in clinic to get a prescription for acyclovir ( Zovarix) or the more expensive valacylovir, Valtrex. If these medicines are taken during the initial stages of a shingles outbreak, the course of the disease can be shortened significantly.
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Truly between a rock and a hard place. I hope that you can get some news about moving soon. And yeah, I understand about what it is like not to have control over a situation — it’s rotten.
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RYN: Yeah, I’m sure the basic one will be just fine for its intended purpose. It’s an e-reader and I want it for reading, that’s ALL lol
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There is nothing worse than feeling helpless… hope things come together for you soon….
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Still praying that you will get some answers soon! SO difficult when others control your life!
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Have you considered the possibility of renting a place near your son for six months while you get the figures on the cost of the addition and/or wait for the construction to be cmopleted? Moving your belongings twice might be a bit of a headache, but it might give you the option of finding more affordable housing in the interim period of getting those quotes. Even if the quotes come in where youwant them to, you still have the added time for the construction. Just a thought. I’m so sorry about your shingles outbreak 🙁
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Can you get the shingles vaccine or is it too late?
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