He Got Away

When I was in my senior year,I met a man. We talk by phone. He was introduced by my cousin to me. Just a few conversations made him decide to meet me and visit me at our house,a quite long trip from where he was living. That’s how everything started…

When he arrived(by bus),I was in class so I needed for someone to fetch him in the terminal. so I asked my aunt to do that for me. Right after my class, I hurriedly went home. In my owe, he gets along well with my family so fast. I was shy to greet him at first. Luckily, he was confident enough to introduce himself. all I can feel that time is my blood rushing through my cheeks. I can’t even look at him straight in the eye nor even glance at him. But I often catch him staring at me. Later that night I was about to sleep, just then I realized that I let a complete stranger in our house. I even lied to my aunt and grandparents that I’ve known him for a long time. And if they’ll found out, I’m a dead-meat! but I suddenly remembered how he looks( I tried to steal a glance when He approaches me about the food we ate at dinner). He seems harmless, he has a chinky eyes that if you’ll look deeply in it you’ll get lost. From the way he stares, you’ll feel a pinch from it. He has a very bright smile that can make everything lighter. In the morning,we ate breakfast together but I needed to go to school. So we didn’t had the chance to be together that day. He waited for me to arrive home before he leaved. So, we drove him to the terminal. When we were in our way,I felt sad for not entertaining him well. And something inside me worries that maybe after he leave, I won’t hear anything from him ever again. But as I walked him near the bus he was about to ride, I was shocked when he suddenly kissed me. And told me,he will be back and he hurriedly rode the bus. Because of shock, I didn’t get the chance to answer. right after the bus left, he texted me saying “I’ll consider this as the day we are finally together. I’ll see you again soon Mhei, I love you!”.

Everything happened so fast, but instead of turning him down something inside of me that’s wanting it. So, I just decided to let it be. From that day on forward, we never leave a day without hearing from each other. Every month, he’ll go in our house to see me until it became every week. But of course,our relationship was not always full of sweet and happy moments. Just like any other couple, we argue and have misunderstandings. But we talk about everything and fix it. But there’s this one time, he seems fed up in his family problems,he’s having a financial crisis and too much stressed from work, he became cold talking to me. And there he told me that he cannot go in our place for awhile and he can’t even call for a couple of days. I was hurt. I waited for awhile but still, I didn’t heard anything from him. So I entertained other people to ease the pain somehow. I became friends with this guy, and he’s totally opposite with my bf(that time). He pretty much filled up the lacking of my bf. I fell in love with him and decided to formally end my relationship with the man I’ve been for a year which I thought would be better for the both of us. Because his family needs him, and I know he’s having a hard time earning money for himself and for his family.

So, a long-distance relationship will not work for the both of us. When he finds out that right after him, I already had someone else of course he got mad. But even though he is,he said he still love me. But I refused to accept him again because of the same reasons. But deep inside me, I’m still longing for him.

Months later, he got himself a new gf. But our communication continued and he told me that even though he already have someone,it’s still me he loves. And if I’ll ask him to be with me,he’ll leave that girl for me. But, I resisted for the second time. I pitied that girl and for the old same reasons I broke up with him. Until the day came that, I finally decided to stop talking to him. And few months later, I got pregnant with the man I loved after him. We’re together for 3 yrs now but not yet married. We already have our 2 yrs old daughter. Just recently, I heard that the man I refused twice, have been married a year ago with the woman he once wanted to give up for me and they’re having a baby on the way. I don’t know why I can’t be truly happy for him. I guessed I never moved on, and sometimes I’m expecting he haven’t too. Though I love my husband, something inside me wanted him back again though it’s impossible now for the both of us. Cause even though I still wanted to fight for him now, I can no longer do that. So the last option I have is to wish him happiness and just continue loving him apart. If I will be given a second chance, I wouldn’t change anything that had happened because I have my child and a loving husband, I will never regret having them. I know I can just love him silently all over again…He will always have a special place in my heart and in my life.