Am I Going Insane?

I feel so cursed. I mean, literally cursed. I was born in pain (dislocated body parts) and I just stayed in pain. I’m suffering and I don’t think the people in my life, the very small amount, care. I’ve got multiple chronic illnesses that make me bed ridden. I only really see my shrink and caregiver. My fiancé is here once a week, but even though he’s wonderful, he doesn’t know how to react to my mental and physical pain. I have Drs misdiagnosing me, I’m being denied treatment for a spinal fluid leak, I constantly hear the echoes of past bullies and family saying horrible things about how I look. I don’t have a quality of life. I haven’t been in a grocery store for 5 years. I just watch Netflix and sleep. Pills are my biggest meal. I’m sad. Alone. In pain.