Fluid Dynamics

Now that I’ve had a kid piss his pants in my classroom, I can now confidently say that I’ve had to deal with nearly every bodily function in my four years as a middle school teacher.

Vomit? Check. Several times. No big deal.

Blood? Check. The most egregious offense was when a student popped a boil on his butt, then proceeded to rub his blood-covered ass all over random things in my orchestra room. It looked like someone was filming a sequel to "The Shining" in my classroom. Smears of blood, punctuated by little streaks of pus. Exactly as welcoming as you would imagine it could be…

Sex fluids? Check. Caught a girl masturbating in the front row of my band class a couple of years ago. She had one hand down her pants, another up her shirt, and she was headed to O-town, population- her. I could tell she was trying to get attention, but somehow, no one noticed, so I didn’t say anything until the end of class… when I took her to the guidance office for some… guidance… and a good hand-washing.

Menstruation Material? Check. Could probably be placed in the same category as blood, but it just seems… different when you’re a male teacher and you need to find an inconspicuous way to tell a girl that she needs to go to the nurse. Especially when she’s wearing white pants, and leaves some crimson goodness on her chair as she leaves.

I guess all that’s left is poop?

I can’t wait…

 

 

 

 

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Front row? Seriously. I mean, wow.

Front row? Seriously. I mean, wow.

Front row? Seriously. I mean, wow.

Front row? Seriously. I mean, wow.

Front row? Seriously. I mean, wow.

Front row? Seriously. I mean, wow.

Front row? Seriously. I mean, wow.

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!!

November 18, 2013

I’ve written something and deleted it about 5 times now. I just don’t know what to say, lol.

November 18, 2013

I’ve written something and deleted it about 5 times now. I just don’t know what to say, lol.

November 18, 2013

I’ve written something and deleted it about 5 times now. I just don’t know what to say, lol.

November 18, 2013

I’ve written something and deleted it about 5 times now. I just don’t know what to say, lol.

November 18, 2013

I’ve written something and deleted it about 5 times now. I just don’t know what to say, lol.

November 18, 2013

I’ve written something and deleted it about 5 times now. I just don’t know what to say, lol.

November 18, 2013

I’ve written something and deleted it about 5 times now. I just don’t know what to say, lol.

November 18, 2013

hahahahaha! I remember the masturbation story.

November 18, 2013

hahahahaha! I remember the masturbation story.

November 18, 2013

hahahahaha! I remember the masturbation story.

November 18, 2013

hahahahaha! I remember the masturbation story.

November 18, 2013

hahahahaha! I remember the masturbation story.

November 18, 2013

hahahahaha! I remember the masturbation story.

November 18, 2013

hahahahaha! I remember the masturbation story.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 21, 2013

whhhhaaaaaaaa. In the front row??? what the fuck?! Also, that boil one made me gag.

November 25, 2013

LMAO!!!! Horrible 😛

November 25, 2013

LMAO!!!! Horrible 😛

November 25, 2013

LMAO!!!! Horrible 😛

Ewww lets hope you don’t get the last one ever! And as for the girl masturbating… yea, that’s more than awkward… esp since you’re a guy! lol!

Ewww lets hope you don’t get the last one ever! And as for the girl masturbating… yea, that’s more than awkward… esp since you’re a guy! lol!

Ewww lets hope you don’t get the last one ever! And as for the girl masturbating… yea, that’s more than awkward… esp since you’re a guy! lol!

Ewww lets hope you don’t get the last one ever! And as for the girl masturbating… yea, that’s more than awkward… esp since you’re a guy! lol!

Ewww lets hope you don’t get the last one ever! And as for the girl masturbating… yea, that’s more than awkward… esp since you’re a guy! lol!

Ewww lets hope you don’t get the last one ever! And as for the girl masturbating… yea, that’s more than awkward… esp since you’re a guy! lol!