Survey

*jacked from niceguyS, who swiped it from heavenly35*

1.WHAT IS YOUR FIRST NAME? Parradoxx. Nice try. Read the prologue.

2.DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? No. None allowed in my apartment.

3.DO YOU HAVE ANY APPENDAGES? I have 5 (thanks Shain..good answer)

4.DO YOU KNOW WHAT APPENDAGES MEANS? Yes. They are afterthoughts to the main body.

5.CAN YOU WHISTLE? Yes. I can even whistle two tones at once – one steady(ish), the other the melody. I started practicing when I saw a feature story on it on “Real People” back in the early eighties. Does anyone else remember that show? Any other guys watch it because Sarah Purcell had nice legs?

6.DO YOU SING TO THE RADIO IN THE CAR ALONE? When I am in a good mood, well rested, I am known to break into song wherever there is music, and sometimes without.

7.HAVE YOU EVER HAD CHICKENPOX? Yes. When I was about 3 years old. My mother was embarrased because I got them like the week before pre-school pictures. I remember that aside from scratching, it didn’t slow me down too much. I was quite perky (and pock-y) in the pictures.

8.HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO BILLY SQUIRE? My radio is a manual tuner, so I have little choice upon rare occasion.

9.DO YOU OWN A SHOEHORN? Yes. I received a whole “shoe kit” including brown and black polish and buffing sponges, plus a polishing rag and a shoe horn, as a gift for…graduation from high school? Or maybe it was the Christmas back in ’85 or 86 when my father bought me a pair of Nun Bush dress shoes. We celebrated Christmas at my sister’s house in Olathe that year. It was a good year…and a good shoe horn.

10.ARE YOU CURRENTLY OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN UNDER PEER PRESSURE? Yes, and I would imagine I am in some form all the time, but I can’t image what form that is.

11.DO YOU THINK SURVEYS ARE A STUPID WASTE OF TIME? Not all surveys. You mean OD surveys??….

12.WHAT DO YOU WISH FOR? Various needs and wants.

13.WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW? To continue typing.

14.CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR TONGUE TO THE TIP OF YOUR NOSE? Not at the moment. I am afraid it is a skill i have lost from lack of practice. I should start that up again…

15.DO YOU WISH YOU HAD SOMEONE ELSE’S HAIR? You should really read niceguyS’ answer – its great. BUT – while I truely do not wish I had someone else’s hair, I have caught myself saying that as “small talk” among certain groups when they group was evaluating someone elses hair.

16.WHY? Probably peer pressure. *giggle*

17.HAVE YOU EVER BEEN INVOLVED IN A DRUG DEAL? No. But, A couple of months ago, while riding my bike home late after dark, I happened along another wandering bike rider at the Kwik Shop on 17th. Having nothing better to do so late at night, we talked at the Kwik Shop til it closed, then he roamed with me back to my apartment where we sat out front (I on my car hood, he on his bike on the sidewalk) and talked. He revealed that he used to be a meth runner. He told me some hair-raising (wish I had his hair) stories, and then told me how to beat a drug rap, and some of the tricks of the trade.

This was the same evening when, while we were talking, some young preps in a noisy gremlin-alike beaned me with a water balloon while I was sitting on my hood. Not to be outdone, I called the police, and had a $100 ticket – for “firing missles” in the city limits – issued to them.

It wasn’t that it was such a bad prank on me personally, but it was the first night after school let out, and it was a chilly night, and they need to learn that a) striking random people with water balloons can get you shot and killed if you hit the wrong person and b) it is very stupid to drive back around the block to taunt your victim, and stop your car long enough for your victim to identify all of the occupants and their clothing, and read your tag number from your sorry-a** slow gremlin-like car as you pretended to speed away.

I mean, if you are going to be sneaky, do it right!

18.IF YOU COULD BE SOMEONE FAMOUS WHO WOULD YOU BE? What do you mean? I am someone famous!

19.CAN YOU TELL A GOOD JOKE? Sure. Number 71! Number 4!

20.DOES ANYONE LAUGH (EXCEPT YOU)? I don’t know, check my notes below. (Does anyone know the joke I told above?) My father was and my Uncle Floyd is, the best joke tellers I know. My dad was just fun to listen to. But Uncle Floyd knows the subtlty of excellent joking.

21.HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN OFF YOUR PANTS AND DONE THE ANTLER DANCE? No, but my best friend in high school pulled his pants down (okay, a friend did it for him while he posed) in front of the Burger King on the main drag in The City, in order to get the winning picture for an unofficial school-wide senior-prank Poloroid scavenger hunt.

As I recall, the picture was destroyed by…his (ex) wife? Both halves were still intact, but in the possession of seperate people as of a few years ago, I think.