Reprive (part two)

[major content from an IM with a friend aproximately 7:30pm Thursday. IM content modified and sanitized. Augmented with new narrative]

It was just a few minutes after 7pm when I slipped out and back to my computer. I was due at my small group Bible study, and was closing out files when my IM friend popped up. The cares of the here and now outweigh whatever remote plans I might have had – almost everytime. This friend was no more or less important than my friends at the Bible study. I chose to stay and chat for awhile….

Parradoxx: *deep sigh* And, so…. how about you?

IMfriend: well at least you didn’t have to write a rushed english part of your exam today and do a freakin chem lab more than once because the stupid thing is so picky.. and have a friend that won’t speak with you because he hurt you.. and have a test tomorrow and a test monday. …plus exams in like two weeks

Parradoxx: Well, I have the friend thing… but no on the labs and tests.

IMfriend: and yeah

IMfriend: missing my friend

Parradoxx: *slow nods, understanding nods*

IMfriend: The missing friend.. so wish i could talk to him.. hes to be home this weekend, i so hope he comes!

IMfriend: I could use some chattin

Parradoxx: *giggling*

IMfriend: im going to fail and i need these marks.. but i have NO time to study .. yet.. and i won’t have much time either!!!!!!

Parradoxx: Thats what prayer is for, hun!

IMfriend: im so frusterated with my teachers…”acid base, teach yourself”.. ARG!!!

Parradoxx: *listening about frustration*

IMfriend: oh dangit it all.. i just wanna give up and curl into a ball and sleep again.. not a good idea.. to get me this bogged and frusterated

IMfriend: had a guy talk today that is in grade 9 and he got up in my face.. oh i felt like wailing him one.. which is NOT me

IMfriend: but i was just like “get outta my face” and then i was like you think you have it bad wait till your a freakin senior.. and you have it ten times worse and the freakin marks count

IMfriend: *Deep breath*

Parradoxx: This may sound stupid, but I feel led to say it: “Just because you are Christian doesn’t mean you aren’t human.” I leave interpreting that up to you.

IMfriend: i wish i wasn’t human.. i wish i was a snail…

IMfriend: i don’t wanna care anymore..

IMfriend: i guess that is what this all comes down too

Parradoxx: No, snails respond poorly to acid… or is it base?

This was good for me. I needed to have someone who trusted me enough to vent at me, and someone to whom I could vent to. I felt bad at first, choosing to stay instead of going to my Bible study. But as the conversation turned, I saw that maybe I was actually needed, beyond a vent-source.

IMfriend: where does a grade 9 get off complainin about getting homework?.. give me a freakin break!.. im at the stage im picking the homework i do.. and my chem notes tomorrow are gonna get like a 2/5 because i dont’ have the desire to do them.. they have always been 5/5

Parradoxx: How bad is 2/5 going to hurt you?

IMfriend: its my notes..like 0.00001 of my final

Parradoxx: *laughing* Then give it up!!!

IMfriend: im not worried but still its not hard to do.. its just some homework that im too lazy to do.. but i should or usually would have it done

Parradoxx: Don’t kill yourself for .00001

Parradoxx: No, hey, listen….You aren’t LAZY, or you would never have done them before. What you are doing…is exercising selective control of your priorities.

IMfriend: now your making excuses for me

Parradoxx: You have too many things that come down to the last moment (figuratively). Choose which ones you will spend your time on.

Parradoxx: No, its not an excuse. Its life. Read Stephen Covey!

IMfriend: i have too many things last moment.. not figuratively speaking *lol*

Parradoxx: You are exercising responisbility in the moment of choice.

Parradoxx: I have bible study at 7pm on Thursdays, hon. But, I was sitting here at 6:55pm, and you popped up.

Parradoxx: It is more important to me to talk to you right now, because I am here, right now, than to blow you off to keep an appointment on the other side of town, which is voluntary for me anyway.

Parradoxx: I’m not making an excuse. I am chosing what priorities are in my life at RUN TIME. THAT is what “growing up” is largely about, and, at your grade level, you are being challenged to learn and use THAT skill, too! …Does that make sense?

IMfriend: yes.. but like my teacher is gonna buy that..

Parradoxx: Tell him tough crap. They are YOUR grades, not HIS/HERs, and you will choose what is most important for your learning in this class!

Bold assertions on my part. At this point, I am observing myself now, too. I am “lonely” and needing to feel useful. So, how much of this is just pure arrogance? Or my taking advantage of the situation to get my own strokes? I worry about things like that, because I try never to take advantage for myself. That’s when I got validation….

Parradoxx: *laughing* My host just came online….. Its no prob…

IMfriend:: GOOO! you bum

Parradoxx: Its okay, I just excused myself. *smile* Don’t try to mess with God working!

IMfriend: lol

Parradoxx: THAT wasn’t planned, it was by divine design.

IMfriend: your such a bum… go you know you wanna

Parradoxx: Yes, but, I’d rather make sure you understand the message, since it is now clear that this is where God intended me in this moment.

[ccont’d]