Not scary

I don’t know what spurred it, but I was struck with the memory….

Sometime in what must have been the summer after my fourth grade year, I attended a summer class thing for gifted students. I was there with one or two from my school, but everyone else was new to me.

The memory that came to me while driving my car over to this office from Schlotzsky’s with dinner is that of …well, okay… the whole thing…

The class was two weeks long, half-days. The second week, we worked on a “talent show” for our families. I remember, these other students (who seemed brighter, but no smarter) all jumped at the chance to do some kind of talent.

I had none. But, that was okay. I thought many of them were pretentious. And, true to myself, I sought out a helping role. I observed what “skits” or routines were going to be performed, and set about creating or advising on props, etc.

For the day of the show, I brought along my 150-in-one electronics kit (for sound effects), a paper laboratory smock (for costuming, for a sketch with a scientist) and fake pop (it was a prop for something. I played with vinegar and soda, and food coloring for several hours the night before).

And, I was pleased to provide these services. But, after the “program” started, one of our teachers stopped me and asked “What are you doing in the show??” I told them nothing. She (later, they) said “But you’ve got a talent! Look at what you are doing with this electronics set! You should do that on stage!!”

Now, that sounded as un-thought-out to me then as it does now. Thats like “but you’re holding a broom! You should go SWEEP on stage!” I understood the concept of entertainment, and my captors wanted me to bore everyone to death!

But, they insisted. And, why not. So, I put on the lab smock, went out with my kit, and proceeded to wire up a meowing-cat sound while spinning a lively comedic platter for about 5 minutes.

The worst moment for me was when I got it wired right… I had no big finish! It just went “meoooooooooooow” when I pushed the keyswitch. I realized even as I approached that moment that it was going to be anti-climatic, but there was no stopping, and no saving humor. I made one final remark, got that last giggle, bowed, and left the stage.

The stage was simply a space in front of a white sheet in the library. Parents gathered around in a resemblance of rows. It was very upclose performing.

That was the memory that struck me in the car: the image of myself, a 9-year-old spinning puns off the cuff while clipping wires under springs in the correct order. I remember that I had NO FEAR! I had no prep, no plan – nothing but my 9-year-old wits.

I am contrasting that to most of my high-school years, when I would die to avoid “getting up in front of” anyone. Not that I was afraid of spectacle: I wore Christmas lights up my nose for half a day before Christmas break once! And, I was a charismatic leader of my geek clique (there were 3 leaders, our group had about 30 members).

This all just kind of came to me in a flash while driving, me before the lions, showing no fear. I wanted to write it down before it escaped me again.

Thanks for listening.