More random notes II

One of my friends called me this morning to tell me they screwed up.

Without identifying them or the exact nature of the mistake, suffice it to say it was pretty bad in the scope of their life.

I only mention it here to say how honored I was that they should call me. This is someone who hasn’t had much contact with me for the better part of a year – oh, yeah, we’ve talked, but the conversations were thin and far between.

But, when they were in a pinch, they knew they could contact me for an honest, unjudging appraisal of their situation.

That felt good.

There was not a lot for me to advise on. I think they just really needed to “admit it” to someone else – externalize the whole thing, so they could start thinking about the next step. I hope I helped. I wish I could do more.

My secretary at work has it in for me.

I’m not sure why. I speculate it has to do with her asking me shortly after she started working here what the policy was on “eating at our desks”. I told her what I thought it was, and suggested asking our Boss just to make sure, but confirmed that I followed the rules I had just offered.

A couple of days later, my Boss found me and “set me straight” on what the food rules were. He also added that “I’ve already had to correct another staffer on this same policy”. I knew he meant our secretary.

For me, for my part, it was no big deal. I was wrong, he set me straight – nuff said. thats what learning is about and I knew it was over and done with for my Boss too. BUT apparently our secretary has this whole “looked like an idiot” thing going. So, i think she blames me, and now just generally hates me, as if I did the whole thing to make her look bad.

Anyway, she tried picking a fight with me Friday afternoon.

I skipped lunch at my normal time. I needed to go out and do two photo shoots of our clients, about 30-45 minutes apart. I planned on “taking lunch” between the shots, and just spinning off whatever lunch hour I didn’t get. (I’m not a clock watcher in this way).

So, I left at 1:15 to get to the first shoot by 1:30. Well, it turns out that they were in a lecture at that moment, so it was nearly 2pm before I could take any interesting shots of their activity.

They were moving between stations at a conference, and each station had some kind of participatory activity. So I spent all of half an hour trying to capture a few shots at each station.

Unfortunately, I ran down the batteries in the digital camera, and someone had forgotten to replace the pack in the camera bag. So I rushed back to our office, got new batteries, then rushed to the second shot at 2:45.

That was over with by shortly after 3pm. I went by TacoBell, and brought my dinner back into the office, intending to eat my fast food while I uploaded the images from the camera. We leave normally at 4:30, but since I was a little late getting in this morning, I was planning to stay until 4:45.

Well, as I come into our office suite, our secretary asks “Is that lunch?” “Yes” I replied. “Well, you cant eat that at your desk. Its a law. And I’m enforcing it” she said with a defiant, spoiled tone as I walked on past and into my office cube.

She had another woman at her desk, a specialist from another department (who also just happened to have been dating my dad when he died. If only our secretary knew that this woman would have jumped to my defense if I’d have asked for it…. *ggg*)

The woman began trying to “quiet” our secretary. (remember, I’m not a Director, but she still works for ME, plus I have seniority) The secretary – Wendy, her name is Wendy – just used that as opportunity to coyly bash me by saying to the woman “well, its JUST NOT FAIR! I am tired of the DOUBLE STANDARD. There are RULES and he SHOULDNT BE EATING AT HIS DESK”

She kept this up for several minutes, at which point I stuck my head out “Just who ARE you talking to, Wendy?” She didn’t reply to me directly, and by that time the woman had subverted her somewhat.

Well, I could go out and down dress her, but I couldn’t have done so professionally without attacking her immaturity personally. Her behavior was petty and childish. She even threatened (to the woman, not to me) “I don’t care! I’ll just walk right out of here!” as if that would have made a difference to me?

I can see her putting that on her resume… “Reason for leaving: co-worker ate Taco Bell”.

So, instead…if she didn’t want me eating at my desk.. I still had my “lunch hour” coming, so I left at 4pm. SEE YA, Wendy! (But, seeing that my boss was gone for the day, I went and got approval from one of the vice-president).

That was subtle and satisfying to me, but doesnt really address the problem. Some time on monday, I’m going to let my boss know that she and I may have a personality conflict, and that I am planning to talk to her about it. I just want my boss in on that loop so in case she does “walk out” he will have some clue as to why.

I don’t know if she is mature enough to deal with a serious discussion. I’m also afraid she’s going to get so mad at feeling humiliated because I confront her about her behavior (even though I plan to be as calm and nice about it as possible) that she will cry.

I don’t know what to do if she crys. *sigh*