From camping, Friday evening

[from written notes on Friday evening August 3, by flashlight. This e-version will be the version of record.]

I am sitting here enjoying a Townsend tune from a motley band at 11:30pm on a beautiful summer evening under a full moon. Its not right that – – despite the crowd of some 30 – 40 people with me on lounge chairs – – I am alone.

I came out early this morning to pitch my tent in a good spot, then help do some setup chores for the event, as I have a “working” membership. I left shortly after noon to run some errands, nap, pick up my house, and shop for the weekend.

Sidebar: A fellow sitting nearby just leaned over and cried “What the hell are you working on? Git it a rest!!” I replied, “Um, its… I’m journaling.” “Oh.”

I was both tired and hungry when I went shopping. About an hour and a half, and $50 later, I came home to prepare & pack my food (in the morning, I will try out a new camp pancake recipie).

This morning, while setting up, Sally – a local icon – invited me to eat chili dogs with her group. Unfortunately, by the time I came back out at 7pm, they had already eaten. So, I whipped up some “enhanced ramen” with egg, chicken and mushrooms, and share the pot and my sardines with one of the caretakers, who hadn’t had a chance to stop and eat since shortly after noon. Meanwhile, I worked the concessions while he ate.

Magnet that I am to people who need to talk (see the entry “significant nothings”, I think), I found myself drawn into a conversation with a rather bland and naive fellow about his dating life. This guy is one of those guys who, at a social event such as this, while the rest of the resort has gathered around the stage to hear the live bands, he stands around the concession stand making a bland statement about himself every 15 seconds.

Poor guy.

The funny thing is, it worked. I end up giving him dating advice. I even stop one of the guards, a woman, for her input into the situation. He went out a couple of times on what were mutually satisfying dates with a bland woman from his work. On the third date, they kissed and now – she seems uninterested.

He seems to think the kiss was bad or something turned her off. Both the guard and I advised it was his pressure for a long-term committment. At one point, I said, “I have the same problem – I won’t ask a woman out unless I can see us getting married or a long-term committment. And, I do consider it a problem… I understand that this approach is going to scare some women off, AND limit my opportunities as I might meet someone on a “casual” date who later would be interested in long-term. But I never go out with these women.”

So my advice to him was solid, and affirmed by the guard, but the statement itself was pure stream-of-consciousness. After I said those things, I asked myself “is that really what I do believe?” Am I, the “working” member behind the counter tonight really any better off, and different from, the bland man infront of it?

My thoughts will go in part in this direction tonight as I go to sleep. Right now, the band is laying down some cool blues riffs to finish out their set…. and my flashlight is fading.