D day

I’ve been in “full-on geek mode” the last several weeks. I installed a trial of Dreamweaver MX on my G4, and have been pouring my every spare minute into the Bike Club website. I have 7 days left of the demo installation. Seven days to make it all come out right.

But, tonight the program got buggy. I left a note in the tech support group, and am chilling for a reply. So I thought I’d drop by here.

I am afraid I will have to reinstall the software — which, I am afraid, will fault-out the remaining trial days. It will turn into a rock. Which will be okay – I think I’ve learned enough to continue hand-coding the software, as I have been doing. What I will really miss is the syntax coloring… *sigh*.

This morning was interesting.

We had a board meeting out at the land. D was there. I haven’t seen D in a while – she skipped the last meeting. As this meeting was ending, she told me she wanted to pick my brain about an invention she is planning. Its something I already know about, and she’s asked me to help her with it, but she’s not taken any initiative with it since we first talked about it.

So, it seemed, this was going to be an initiative-sort of conversation.

She was sitting on the loveseat when the meeting ended, so when another board member stood up to leave, I sat down next to her. She asked if I was in any kind of hurry to leave, I said no, just to go back to sleep.

She started to talk, and I thought I’d just plop over sideways and curl up on her lap as she was talking. She had a different idea in mind, so as I turned and leaned, she brought her feet up. I leaned, she levered… she ends up “holding me off” with both of her feet.

“Is that comfortable?” she asked, not realizing I was trying anything. “No, I was actually going to curl up in your lap!” “OH!” she laughed, “Here…” and she layed her legs out on the front side of the couch. I dropped back onto a pillow she drapped across her chest, then reached up behind me and grabbed her shoulders, her arms.

Her arms came around my neck across my shoulders so that I could see her hands flap as she talked, and she’d rest her hands on my arms, or grab them back, when she paused.

I closed my eyes and listened.

We actually talked for about an hour. While I was leaning against her, we tried different things with our hands. At one point I pushed my hand up under hers and she interlaced fingers and we held hands like this for some time. At another point, she sat up on the couch, in front of me, so my back was to the back of the couch, and I ‘played with her back” while she talked.

I don’t mean to be graphic. My point is, there was an automatic physical connection. It was not assuming by either of us. It was comfortable, it was natural.

The longer part of the time talking was about our “love-life”s. I told her a little about Nightingale, but didn’t get much chance to give details. She spoke extensively about Skip.

And we were holding hands.

She explained about Skip, “He’s the first man I’ve ever felt I could just ‘be with’ without marrying.” If thats unclear to you, what she was saying is: she trusts him and feels a unique bond to him that transcends the ordinary.

She is experiencing a quality of “best friendship”, a quality of love that is true. Its the same thing that my sister is experiencing with Glenn. It is a concept I am familiar with, and miss very much.

D flattered me several times. She frequently compared him to me (not the other way around — as if to suggest *I* was the prototype, the meter for measuring-up to).

She believes in Astrology to some degree, and was pointing out that they are opposite star signs. I observed, from him being a professional “sound man” for bands, and how he obsesses over his equipment, and other things she said, that he is a geek-genius. He’s an INTP.

The morning left me reeling for several reasons…

I’ve always said that the quality of my most-significant relationship sets the tone for all my others. I was able to relax with D and be touching without being intense. I was at ease because of what Nightingale brings to me, much as what Skip does for D.

I was amazed again, that here was an “older” woman, a divorced woman (albeit long ago) who finds what they are truely looking for in me – or in this case, someone like me.

And I am also amazed, that yet another woman is having a Kizmet experience with an INTP.

*quirky, goofy, gentle smile* Maybe its just nice to be complimented.