Closing of the Year (2)

“Wise men seek him still”

I am thankful for my salvation. I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus Christ. I am thankful that I have spent energies studying the Bible and my faith where others have not. I am lonely because of it and that grieves me but not for that reason.

I am content. I am content that my basic needs are met: food, shelter, practical purpose, someone to care for, transportation, basic health. I am sometimes lonely but never really alone; I have a group of friends here at work, of varying degrees of faith but for whom matters of faith are not foreign.

I have a church family who looks after me and allows me to participate at whatever level I am comfortable and does not begrude my own introvert isolation, but rather they reach through it from time to time, and otherwise leave the door open.

And I have a family (both genetic, blended, and presumed) to whom, like it or not, I can always go if I am at need.

No, I am grieved because of my lonelyness because so many people, some of the most important people in my life, will not make the simple choice of Jesus Christ.

I see the suffering of others. On here, I read the suffering of others. People with questions, people who hurt. Often they hurt because they hurt themselves, and they refuse to open their eyes to the truth. They would rather contintue to serve their own ways, the ways of the world, continue to serve evil, rather than open their eyes in honesty of their own corruption, and then open their arms to forgiveness and purity and salvation.

That saddens me.

Because their choice to do so often puts me at a distance. And these are people I call my friend. But I cannot help them, because they will not help themselves. Instead they keep wandering, pretending from one pretense to the next that they have a goal, have a purpose, but knowing deep down it is false and they still refuse to seek a higher ground.

That saddens me.

It saddens me because of a baby.

A baby born in Nazareth. A child who was born so he could die. Die for their pain and suffering. Die for their evil, die for what they are unwilling to admit.

Die for you. So that you would not die.

But they refuse to kneel. Refuse to accept his gift. Because they refuse to let go of their own unworthyness. So they continue to pile on despair, adding to their burden, adding to their shame.

But their pride will destroy them.

That saddens me.

If they would only seek Jesus, he would wash them clean, and set them free into a new life. If they would just let go of the death they carry with them, let it go and set it at his feet.

A gift at the feet of the manger. A sacrifice at the foot of the cross.

If you were the only person on the planet…
…he would still have been born for you.
He would still have died a painful death, only for you.
Because he loves you, no matter where you are.
No matter what you have done.

Wise men and women still seek Him.