Breakaway

It finally broke. The strange sleep/stress/motivation problem.

I don’t know the exact cause. I do know that it had alot to do with getting enough rest while still in seasonal recovery. It may also have been a vertibrae out of alignment. But, I can’t help thinking that it had to do with drama practice at church yesterday, and just how the whole day went.

How they day went was …well, it went. I got things done, despite barely being able to compute them, or even see beyond the project at hand. Work got done at my job. I also managed to complete a computer repair project for a friend, a project which had been hanging over my head for a couple of weeks. I finished it at lunch.

Right after work, I crossed town to help a friend go computer shopping. But, there was no one home. Since she lives across the street from church I went over there, and managed to finish a project there, too. I was responsible for boxing up and returning the Police gear that we used in our Christmas drama. (I loooved being a cop, even if for just a few days!). Anyway, THAT was a while ago, and I finished it yesterday too.

I got to pal around with my friends, especially Ray (worship pastor) and Terry (office assistant). She and I worked on set-building for a sketch this Sunday. We have the same sense of humor, and outlook on lots of things. I always enjoy her company. *laughing* Except when she dragged me away from a group of young women I was mixing with, so I could help her build sets! – – just kidding, I still enjoy her company.

But, that was a high point of the evening, too. Its a small thing, but small blessings are wonderful. But, since bowling last Thursday, I now have a slightly expanded friend circle, and some of the people who were in it before now have stronger roles, and I to them. Its always nice to be welcomed into a conversation. (I may come back to this if I have time).

I left church around 9:30 (early, for once) and went to the grocery store to buy milk and get some cash. I wanted milk because I was going to go home and do Oreo’s and milk. It really does help me sleep, and getting home early for once, I really wanted to use that time to sleep! When I got home, I locked my car, went upstairs, was all excited, went to get the cookies… and realized I had forgotten to bring them in from the car when I bought them the other night [sigh, laugh]. So I giggled to myself and read myself to sleep.

Slept well.

Woke up this morning, and my malaise was gone. Thank you, Lord!

It was cold and grey when I came to work, but since then the sky has cleared and the bright sun shining and the heat-gain through the glass, and the robin’s getting drunk on fermented crab-apples and SPRING!!! and I can feel the coil of the spring being tightened like a dynamo in my chest. Not yet, not yet but soon… but I must behave and let the thing charge up. I’ve got to stop spending the newfound energy, and save it instead.

But its beautiful outside, and I can’t wait til spring, and the end of my SAD.

I have been stressed alot at work. Not any one single project, but lots of little ones. The rest of the Company has finally figured out that the web is a useful tool, and so little known departments and groups have been coming to me saying “set us up on the website!” Then there are the other routine graphic design projects that are annual events. Plus we are having a virus problem on our server that eats JPGs which means I have to back everything up on my D drive, and sometimes we can’t print and THEN there are the new projects that aren’t annual, and finally, we are starting a Bond campaign, that goes to vote in just over a month……

Couple that with my personal life of getting my personal momentum back, and trying to balance “self time” alone playing with “self-time” social when I have so few true social friends, the difficulty I am having switching from spontanious scheduling back to a Day-planner, and ugh….

So, this weekend I hope to get away to my Uncle’s. He lives West of Here, on a farm which is my father’s family seat. I love the farm, I love the rural lifestyle. I love working honest work with my back and my hands, the calmness, the quiet. I like to get away.

He has a computer, but doesn’t use it often, and its not very current, so I will be in an OD void for a few days. I won’t miss the computer, but I will miss other’s writings, and for myself, I will be journalling on paper. Part of me bawks at the things I am leaving undone while away: I have not had time to clean house or continue my filing project, so my apartment remains a mess. I will miss a sauna on Saturday, which is one of my social outlets.

But, I will get to rest in the quiet, uncomplicated sanctuary of my Uncle’s farm and family (he and his wife, right now). I may ride my bike. I will do a pasture walk, counting cows. And, I will go to my Uncle’s church in another semi-rural town 30 minutes away. Its a good church, a small but growing church. The preach the Bible and Christ’s love, and I feel welcome there even though I only make cameo appearances.

But, first I have to get more things done here!