An entry

Life is good.

Thats all. Its just good. Thank you, Lord.

I have taken two personal days, evenings that is, for myself. I have been too busy lately in my real life – not taking enough time for myself. I am an introvert, afterall, and need time to contemplate and recharge. Its worked. Tonight, despite the great evening outside, I am spending online, catching up on my diary, and others.

Despite the swellness of life, and my continued delight in WH, I am still wrestling with what has changed for me since the Chicago trip. I have identified parts of it, I think, accurately…and in sharing them with significant other, I have felt the relief that comes from that revelation.

But, there is still a sad part, it lurks undefined, resisting definition, somewhere abysmally deep. It surfaces now and again, at times like tonight, when I have…*chuckling* like when I am not getting to bed early – and when I am contemplative.

I fear it surrounds, it concerns, my absent friend. I fear it, because I anticipate the pain that acknowledging this shadow may cost me. So I poke at it with this journal entry, testing it. Testing myself.

I know that this needs to be done. That I need to resolve this mysterious shadow concept question thing. I need to do it to continue to grow. Plus, I believe that unresolved, it challenges my authenticity.

WH continues to stir my mind and heart. She is quite a beautiful person, and I see her draw forth such beauty from others here online. We email as often as our (my) workday allows – I find I am already addicted to the music of her typed words in my head. Ah, but to go slowly, let my heart unwind slowly *nodding* yes, I know. Everything will unfold in its proper time.

Still, I am eager to see her again. Have her near.

Work outs are progressing nicely. Adding a second aerobic workout to my week is helping alot. I need to see what I can do to get one in on Monday, too.

I am drinking water, voluntarily. The ambient temperature is 85 degrees. When it reaches that, my body automatically begins to crave water. Even if I am indoors. Its wierd. I think its part of fight-or-flight, scarcity mentality kicking in. At 85 plus, I will lose water faster from my body, so it tries to get ahead of the curve by drinking more on its own.

I have been coming home from work to take naps, and eat less. More research about napping during the workday has been recently released, and while I’ve been an advocate of the concept for nearly 7 years, I decided I was going to do more about it.

Also, when home, and napping, I find I do not have the desire to eat a whopping plate of food. Instead, I get by on yougurt and etc. This is an unintentional benefit of coming home to nap.

Well, i am way too tired, and still have half an hour to go of work on the computer. Plus, i am just kinda losing my writing spark. I will try to be on more regularly, but work is watching my computer time a bit more closely, and the good weather brings more opportunities to spend the evenings OUT!

Thanks for reading.