The Secret Superpower of the Inebriated

it would definitely save on breathalizer tests. i’m normally a complete non-drinker (being a lush and also tiny, alcohol goes straight through me). so being around drunk people is a very weird experience. and you get the third degree about why you’re not drinking.

And of course, the flip-side to that is: SOBER people (of which I am now one– for the next 7 months at least) have the uncanny ability to recognize DRUNK people. I swear, it’s freaky. Drunk people are so much FUN to other drunk people! To sober people… well, they’re just embarassing. Oh mah gawd, I was ONE of them! *smirk*

P.S. Who is that person/sculpture in your profile pic? She looks familiar!

RYN: Well, I will make sure to take a picture of the part of the sculpture where the head of the baby is crowning, you know, right out of the vag. I know how you love those. I just love it because its shameless. You know, because I’m a f-hag.

*grins* You would have Britney’s naked tail as a profile pic… *LOL* You know what pisses me off the most about that statue?? She had an ELECTIVE c-section!! The woman never even labored!

Let’s not turn this into an anti-C Section tirade. I just think she’s hot! —

*grins* Nah, no intentions on starting a tirade- it’s just that the statue was supposed to be her in labor. Well, she’s a star, I guess nothing relating to her HAS to be authentic.

“an extremely rambunctious, hardbodied blonde” WHAT? You chose SLEEP??? *smacks you upside your head* That’s it. You’re out of the club. ;^) Eric

RYN: The problem is that the job is over. They can’t fire him because he doesn’t work for them anymore. The test was originally just to make sure that he doesn’t have loads of some heavy metal in him . . . I think it was cromium that they were looking for.

As someone who rarely drinks these days, I can say with certainty that I absolutely agree with your first point.

ryns: You are one of the ones I sort-of want to hug now. You’re so…perceptive.

my brother complains to me all the time that his friends tell him there are hot chicks somewhere they are…when there aren’t.

You are so right on about that super-power. Pretty unique observation I’d have to say.

That is one freaky pic, drunk or sober.

.10 exceeds the legal limit.

It’s funny, if I have been somewhere for a while, without drinking, but I have my obligatory diet coke in hand, the masses think I’ve been drinking. I guess I’m more ditzy when I’m around drunks. *laughs* It’s nice to see you writing. Hugs

You are TOO FUNNY…… Hope you are doing WELL (sounds like you are) …… we do clean-outs like that here in Portland too (my buddies and I), but do you really have those civil-rights violating checkpoints there???…. the voters got rid of them here back in the 80’s…….BEST WISHES…. THANKS for the “kath” update, I really appreciate you keeping me posted….THANKS MATE….

I never really drink at all any more, what surprises me is the absolute inability of my friends to remember, even though most of them never even knew me when I did drink. It’s an eternal surprise to them. So fun.

you so funny!

Kinda funny, I’ve noticed the same thing in my months of sobriety. That and drunk people are amusing as all hell. It’s fun to mess with their heads and take pictures.

The sombrero is a good look for me, eh? I miss you, too!!! We’ve been talking about how we need to vacation a lot more often, since we can. So, many trips are being talked about and many of them are tropical. Get your scuba gear ready.

If I did, would you pine for me?

In light of my many recent drunken entries….I plead the fifth. And you SO told me to put the pipe down in a note. SWEAR.

…You need to put down the pipe for a week or two and do some serious introspection. Forget all that man-hating crap. Dig deep. I don’t want you sharing my spiral. 🙂 — [Parliament] I LOVE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT!

ryn: You know, I dont know. I think Mark asked that same question! I may have to research that. I’m not totally convinced of what the problem actually is or that it’s really the hip itself. *sigh*

Here, here! Hiccup. Edina, aka

I see you are celebrating life with Britney Spears. That sculpture is classic.

ryn: That’s funny, actually, because that movie was on TV when I was visiting her and I made a comment about the similarites of us and them.

ryn: i would have been much less disturbed if the guy had gone commando.

RYN: Yes, I know – now that I’ve been settled about whether anyone else is bidding on the house, I’m willing to wait them out. They originally listed it at 114K. Then they dropped (gradually) to 98K which is the current list price. We offered 90, they countered 96, we counterd 92.5. She thinks they are sticking firm to the 96 – which wouldn’t bother me at all. I’m SUCH a crappy negotiator.

RYN: *grins* I know, right?? I want to see what they come back with – if it’s a firm 96, AND the appraisal matches it, it’s SO on.

RYN: You’ll love it because there’s plenty of sex. The story, not the sorority pictures. Those are totally chaste, just hilarious.

RYN: The suckage factor goes up and down. This morning, it was a high 90. I just think of it as an option. If I were really going to do it, I wouldn’t say a word to anybody; I’d just do it.

ryn: glad i was able to stay on your favs list! LOL, drunk people do have such a keen perception – I totally agree with you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard (okay, I’ll be honest, or said!) “why aren’t you drinking?” or “why did you stop drinking?”

WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU COOLNESS ?

LMAO at your new picture on the diary description.

6 more months!!!

xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox ?

ryn: You make me cry tears of blood, P.

Really, you’d be surprised at how difficult it is (on both counts). I have standards you know. I know it doesn’t seem that way, but I do. 😉

You want to dive in THAT cold ass water?? Screw that! I know, I know, you’ll have a wetsuit on that you can pee in, but still…

You’re a fucking liar. This diary was blocked earlier today, and you’ve removed the block. Bite me.

“Boy-toucher”. HAHA! Did you make that one up on the spot, Einstein? No-account, tosspot pissior. Boy-toucher. OMG, I bet you dissolved some brain matter firing back that little retort.

Teen OD? Aren’t you the moderator there?

I’ve read your diary. You’re about as morally “casual” as they come, boyo. Who made you the OD Guardian of Morality? I sincerely hope you don’t reproduce. I would attempt to explain the point I was trying to make, but you’re obviously too dense to grasp abstracts. Please go retrieve that dildo you keep under the bathroom sink and go do what you seem to do best.

I edited the entry for you, dear – apparently you require simple explanations which are easer for your limited intellect to comprehend. Do you need some lube for that dildo?

I’m not turning anything around because basically I am not interested in your opinion. It just amuses me to observe you as your simian microbrain attempts to mount a rebuttal which is clearly beyond your ability to reason. You’re the one who mentioned NAMBLA, not I.

Santorum seems to be quite smitten with you! Your icon of the Britney birthing statue creeps me out. And yes, I agree, they should all spontaneously combust. I hate what a mess I am over this one.

ryn: I’m not sure how you want me to interpret your note. The sentiment on the big green lady stills holds true today in my opinion and reflects both our collective past and our future as a nation. I’m all for immigrants coming here legally. It’s the greatest country in the world.

It seems Santordum has a crush on you.

RYN: Thank you!

If I were smart enough to understand Deadwood, I may watch it. I can’t understand the shit.

ryn: that’s the sad thing – i was at the counter when i placed the order.

RYN: Talk away…I’m listening.

RYN: I do not know what the drama was. I went about my night. I wasn’t paying much attention.

Fag stag. (You knew it was, er, coming.)

ryn: oh, no, it’s slummy. 🙂 At least in some parts. I don’t know how long you’ve been gone, but lately the trend is to put in multimillion dollar subdivisions, so the poor people can look at the McMansions.

ryn: LOL! He’s “TG” from the nose up and me from the lips down.

Tag, your’e it. xoxo

RYN: I don’t actually know when he’s moving in, but I know it’s soon. Scary, huh? Maybe even downright stupid. But whatever – you don’t get anywhere if you don’t take risks.

RYN: Since I didn’t post it to Reader’s Choice, I don’t have much control over that.

RYN: I know- but it made me laugh- I’d not heard it before.

re: your notes on stephy lynn… ~I~ posted that for readers choice. we thought the DM had fixed the problem. i wasnt aware that it was still fuccked up.. or i wouldnt have dont it. its not he fault he doesnt know what he’s doing.

*her fault. oopsie.

RYN: First of all, RC looks fine to me. Second of all, no I do not have control who puts my entries there. I will not remove my HTML, nor will I make the entry private because it bothers one person. It’s neither my fault or problem that it’s messed up. You’re the only one that seems to care anyway.

ryn (well, kinda): I had one glass of champagne all night & Marg. looked at me like I was crazy when I passed on another. If I was out drinking & someone passed on a glass, I’d probably do the same. Then again, we don’t exaclty go to bars to twidle our thumbs. I was going to go out tonight & not drink & it almost seems easier just to stay home then have a million people ask why you aren’t.

Yes, just us.

ryn: Apparently, I’m the only one that got that memo.

Oh stop. It’s a good show!!!

RYN: Oh, totally…the fact that there were no restrictions on those damned FEMA debit cards or any sort of solutions in place, I mean, what do we pay for disaster PREPAREDNESS for, anyway? How hard would it be to flag PO boxes, or deny transactions for a strip club/porn shop? Just careless.

ryn: na…i’m just about getting sh*t for free.

RYN: I’m w’cha homey. I’ve been telling my friend to ditch her loser man (the identity theft criminal) for ages now. I just like to plot in my head (and my diary) against Jimmy because it makes me feel better!

RYN: Why in 8 years? What happens then…?

ryn: Honey, I’ve got all the time in the world. Just line ’em up.

more diary writing; more diary writing; more diary writing. . .

ryn: I can understand the sentiment. No true Mavs fan in their right mind would root for the Lakers.

Um… at some point you’re actually going to have to post another entry. I’m sure there’s a limit in here for notes… plus, I miss you. I laughed pretty hard at your new picture :)~

I must admit that everything you have said in this entry is complete bollocks. Thanks for your time.

That’s a new picture. We know you’re still out there.

I always thought my ability to handle lamps with my feet was improved by the consumption of alcohol. I must say, despite how much I hate it, alcohol IS very amusing.

RYN: http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/elongoria_bikini.jpg

yeah! she did that! how bored is she?

RYN: I wasn’t lying when I said that I hate driving. That’s why I had you out…so you could drive my ass around. =)

of COURSE i would have outed your note. fodder is fodder! and also it wasn’t THAT harsh at all. if it hadn’t been for the TRIGGER component, it would have been mildly appropriate!

ryn: yes, i think you have good advice. i hope this will go smoothly and quickly. i want to be informed though. i know people who have signed without reading it and without a lawyer present. i’m not really the one in danger of losing anything though.

You are tagged! That’s if and only if you feel like writing another entry. RYN: I wish I knew you in real life. I love how your notes are so succinct and straight up. Hope life’s treating you well.

I will assume you hate me because my joke pointed out the inadequacy of the Kansas City sports teams. I suppose it would have been even funnier if I had changed it to Royals.