The Rime of the Parliament Mariner

He holds him with his glittering eye–
The Wedding-Guest stood still,
And listens like a three years’ child :
The Mariner hath his will.

Man, will I be glad when 2004 is in the record books.

I am not, by nature, a superstitious person. Nor do I believe in all the Astrology mumbo-jumbo. But every year, on my birthday, my mother clips my horoscope from the newspaper and mails it to me. You know—the big birthday one that tells you what life has in store for you in the next year.

I remember reading mine for this year and chuckling to myself. Because it was bad. Not “an anvil will fall on your head” bad, but more of a “you’d better brace yourself, pal” bad:

“You might find yourself between a rock and a hard place this year. You might know what you want, but achieving those goals or desires could be out of reach. Confusion reigns.”

`And now the STORM-BLAST came, and he
Was tyrannous and strong :
He struck with his o’ertaking wings,
And chased us south along.

Yup. I guess that about sums up 2004 for me.

The good news, however, is that I feel the tide beginning to shift. After losing my woman and losing my job, I started to take the “funny little joke” seriously. I felt like the Ancient Mariner—as if the albatross of past misgivings was hung about my neck. There were a few days when I looked up in the sky for falling anvils. Money was tight, and my own personal cheerleader was nowhere to be found. There passed a weary time, to be sure.

And every tongue, through utter drought,
Was withered at the root ;
We could not speak, no more than if
We had been choked with soot.

But as I said, things are turning around for me. I’ve found some short-term contracting work. It’s only for a few months, but could be extended. If nothing else, it’ll put me on firm financial footing until spring. Then, if need be, I can go back to the trees.

It doesn’t sound like much, but I was really concerned about making ends meet through the winter months.  I feel like the Almighty threw me a bone. Like the second half of 31 is going to be where I right the ship:

O happy living things ! no tongue

Their beauty might declare :

A spring of love gushed from my heart,

And I blessed them unaware :

Sure my kind saint took pity on me,

And I blessed them unaware.

“If you block out the negativity and reactiveness, your creativity will seize the helm of the ship, making new ventures possible, whether emotional or professional.”

I believe now that the albatross is gone. But I’m not in the clear just yet. It’s too soon for me to believe that the storm is completely behind me. I remain cautiously optimistic.

The other was a softer voice,
As soft as honey-dew :
Quoth he, `The man hath penance done,
And penance more will do.’

The exit of “Damage Control Mode” has left way for the good old fashioned Blues. You see, my ex is dating someone new. And while I hate to admit it, I’m having a tough time with that. I’ve dated a few women in the past several months, but invariably, I hit a brick wall at about the three-week mark. Then, the wind is gone from my sails. I’m having a tough time getting on with that aspect of my life.

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“If you are single, don’t count on a relationship being long-term.”

For now, I’m haunted by my past. Stuck aboard my ship, with none but the deceased to keep me company.

All stood together on the deck,
For a charnel-dungeon fitter :
All fixed on me their stony eyes,
That in the Moon did glitter.

I’m keeping my eye on the horizon. Watching for calmer waters. I’m certain that the worst is behind me. But it’s tough to put the perilous journey of this past year behind me. Still, I know that everything will ultimately work out for the best.

Oh ! dream of joy ! is this indeed
The light-house top I see ?
Is this the hill ? is this the kirk ?
Is this mine own countree ?

Thanks for listening. </P</P