Surrounded by Antidote: A Thank-you Entry

There are times during the week when I’m out running errands. I’ll be fresh from the gym. The endorphins are wearing off, and I’m feeling blue.

 

Sinatra can barely get through the lyrics of the short, short song before I reach down to repeat it:

When you’re alone,
who cares for starlit skies?
When you’re alone,
the magic moonlight dies
At break of dawn
There is no sun… rise,
when your lover has gone
 Frankie sings to me from beyond the grave as I wallow in my emptiness. I park my
car, and let the song finish:  What lonely hours the evening shadows bring;
What lonely hours with memories lingering
like faded flowers;
Life can’t mean anything
when your lover has gone.
 

I sigh as I shut off the car. I step out, lock the door, and set about the task of buying milk or toothpaste or somesuch. I work hard to keep from watching my feet as I walk. My thoughts drift through old…

 

 

 

 

 

Holy cow, would you look at her?! MARRY ME!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Women of the world, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are the reason I keep my head up when things have me a little blue.

 

Thank you to the businesswoman in her powersuit who is mulling over frozen dinners in aisle 8. Thank you to the girl who is dressed in sweatpants and not giving a shit how she looks but still walks as sexy as ever as she looks for the shortest line. Thank you to the lovely mom who balances her baby on her hip at the checkout counter.

 

And I don’t mean it to sound piggish (although I’m sure it does), but thank you to the woman in pink shorts who bends over to set her groceries in her trunk.

 

Despite my dreadful track record, my love affair with all women is renewed every time one of you passes by. I am hopelessly addicted—but not in some demented, stalkerish way—to the fairer sex. Despite the bad trips, you will always be my elixir.

 

So you’ll forgive me if I invent an excuse to stand next to you at the bank (even if you’re in the longer line). I apologize for throwing my smile at you like a fastball. Please take no offense in my friendly small talk.

 

You see, it helps to pass the time until I meet the next love of my life.

Log in to write a note
May 3, 2004

Unless you’ve already met him and I die before we consumate our love. —

May 3, 2004

It’s nice to know we’re appreciated! 😉

May 3, 2004
May 3, 2004

Very nice. 🙂

this was all just about how a woman looks that keeps you motivated. thanks for the personality shout-out. =p

May 3, 2004

i don’t get those girls who don’t like being looked at, or appreciated. I dont get it. beautiful girls should be appreciated. just like beautiful men. the ideal idea that I will one day fall in love with a beautiful man keeps me hanging on. hey, whatever gets you through the night, it’s alright.

Lor
May 3, 2004

Well, if you give me directions I can hurry this meeting thing along… :}

May 4, 2004

Happy Birthday, babe.

May 4, 2004

Chuck’s right. Pass over to the dark side. (grin)

May 4, 2004

How sweet.

Okay, the pink shorts one did sound a little piggish, but…. You’re welcome! I kill me. 🙂

May 4, 2004

*Snaps to attention* Birthday? Happy, Happy to you! Oh, and on behalf of beautiful women everywhere, you are so very welcome. 🙂 Be well,

May 4, 2004

Oh. My. God. You posted song lyrics. I will NEVER let you live that down. And thank you, I’m bending over in the short skirt to put away files this morning.

May 4, 2004

I love it when you stand behind me in line, breathing heavy, hot air down my neck… Unless of course that wasn’t you. In that case, it’s just plain ol’ creepy.

As long as guys keep their hands to themselves, I’m cool with being admired. I dress to be looked at, so I’d be offended if no one looked.

Ryn: Wow, I would never guess you obsess over women, lol…it’s ok, I just hope you meet one that makes you forget the others, lol!!! (Well, we all still have to look though, don’t we?) : )

May 4, 2004

heh. i’m always the girl at the grocery store in work out clothes not caring what people think. it’s the grocery store for christ sake! but i’m sure nobody would look twice at me! it’s your birthday?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🙂 –

Max
May 4, 2004

I too love chicks, for different reasons. That Mercuria person is not a female alter ego of my old self.

And its guys like you who keep us going 🙂

May 4, 2004

how romantic.

MRS
May 4, 2004
May 4, 2004

“It helps to pass the time until I meet the next love of my life.” What a great sentiment. Keep looking, and appreciating. 🙂

EWS
May 4, 2004

You’re young, still. Wait until you’re 40. This whole “existing for women” thing will fade. ;^) Eric

May 4, 2004

RYN … at last report, at least three people have sent it to her. It was the right thing to do, even if I have mixed feelings about it already. —

May 4, 2004

Yum, thank you for helping me recover from ‘bad entry blues’. Hugs

*big smiles* this is a lovely tribute to all women.

May 5, 2004

I know exactly what you mean about women being the elixir of life. Like living breathing works of art.

gel
May 5, 2004

Thank you for your note. Do I know you as someone else?

May 5, 2004

🙂

May 5, 2004

Gotta luv babes in markets.

May 6, 2004

The President himself didn’t actually say “I apologise”. he got one of his lackies to do it. he did, however, say that it was wrong and bad, etc. but he needs to personally apologise. after all, it’s his war. his decision to go in there. his choice. his responsibility when his army stuff up. etc. xxx

May 6, 2004

Aw, poor Duke. I feel the exact same way about boys… RYN: Yes, but you’re not THAT kind of frat boy. You never even mention the frat boy days. That was ALL he talked about.

May 6, 2004

Ah yes. If it were not for the delightful construction crew renovating suite 350 I’d have my head in the oven right this instant.

May 6, 2004

RYN: Well thanks for sticking up for me. But she wasn’t saying it in a mean or lazy way. And I need the press as it is my job to help promote the film. So it’s important for me to play ball here as well.

EWS
May 7, 2004

RYN: Oh, I already knew that you were one of the cool ones. ;^) Seriously, though, the guys that I had in mind when I wrote that wasn’t anyone that I’ve ever read on OD. It’s mostly guys in real life that I was talking about. Eric

May 7, 2004

RYN: Here’s the best way I can explain it. No head injury is too trivial to ignore. Compare a similar construction that makes more sense: no donut is too sweet to eat. Basically, no X is too Y to Z. This implies that no matter how great the Y, Z is still possible. So, no matter how trivial the head injury is, you can ignore it. It’s mostly just a very bad construction.

May 7, 2004

Enough said.

May 9, 2004

No.

sweet

Ahhh, you are a sweet guy, AND you admit your feelings, so someone really special will find you (or, you may find her) one day. You know what I mean. Anywhore. 🙂

May 14, 2004

RYN: purely a comedic trip in the making… Great entry !!! I so agree with you my good man

May 14, 2004

I really like to know that someone is looking when I make an effort to look nice before I leave the house, even if I’m just going to the store for milk. And I’m kind of conceited anyway, I always think that guys are checking me out and it’s kind of an ego boost. Thanks for reaffirming it.

May 14, 2004

send all your sisters, aunts, moms, and women friends to our journal, it’s about women for women by women and it covers every aspect of a woman’s life . peace on your journey through life. from a journal called

May 14, 2004

Thank you for this..

YES! Thats it! I am playing hooker! All day baby! *smiles*.

May 17, 2004

RYN: A door error is when you miss scanning an item and they catch it at the door when they are looking over the recipt.

hah. your note was funny. but I dont think being mean and a lady and witch and a freak is really comparable.

May 19, 2004

RYN: I have my reasons. I could really stand to talk to you about this, you know. I need a sounding board. Have you got Yahoo IM?

May 19, 2004

All I ask is that you be gentle. I’m really quite upset.

May 19, 2004

RYN: Dude I do not know why it is doing that ? Help

May 20, 2004

You are tumbling down a series of stone steps. You find a magical key. You try to eat the key but it is magical and turns your soul to stone. There is a lot of stone around but all you can do is regret eating the key. Suddeny you are alive again and the key is trying to bite your leg.

May 24, 2004

RYN: I hate ALL of the nasties. Spiders and centipedes are at the top of the list. Icccccckkkkkkkk.

May 26, 2004

ryn: fitting. these days I have the eyes of a child! haha not really, it just sounded really good.

This entry plastered a silly grin all over my face. I don’t know why. (I was going to say something about it being ‘refreshing’, but you’re not a can of Sierra Mist, so…nah.)

ryn: I express myself much better in written form. Besides, if we talked, all he’d do is interrupt me. He checks his email a million times a day. I know he’s seen it.

ryn: i think you’re right. followed your advice.

how’re the renovations coming along? i hope you’re gonna show pics of what you’ve done with the place…

EWS
June 3, 2004

RYN: Yep. 🙂 However, you can switch between any of the six team members during the game. Totally cool. Eric

ryn: no, I haven’t posted anything that I’ve written for the magazine. It will be available online next month, so I’ll probably post the links then. I don’t know, though. I might post my first and final drafts soon.

June 3, 2004

RYN: I’ve actually known him for 22 years. We had sort of lost contact a few years back. I found out that he needed a room mate, and I had already lived with him once before in college (no horror stories from that time) so I thought it would be okay. Little did I know.

RYN: 4:45 I know. So much for half a day off. :/

June 4, 2004

i do believe it’s time for an update mister! –

June 4, 2004

RYN: I might have time to call you on Sunday. I’m trying to keep myself busy so I don’t fret. Life has kind of exploded this week for me. And how are you? If you think of it and want to call me first, by all means go ahead. I can always use a little phone time with Big Daddy.

June 4, 2004

how could i have missed this one??

June 4, 2004

ryn: I actually wasn’t trying to portray all frat boys as jerks. In fact, I have no idea if he was a frat boy or not. I just thought it was jerky behavior that is all too common among all people – frat/sorority clones, athletes, computer geeks, everyone and anyone can be a jerk.

thank you. 🙂 you never chat with me anymore. 🙁

i see you occasionally but am too shy to bother you first.

RYN Its not over yet, and probably won’t be for months to come.

If you don’t like what you read in my diary, then don’t read it. If you read what I say on the front page, I clearly lay out what I’m about. Its not a democracy and if you find those who visit my site so dispicable, go else where. My money paid for the diary and there are no rules that force me to not block notes I don’t want. Toot your horn on your own diary.

June 8, 2004

RYN: There’s a American Journal of Public Health article about why STDs spread in America — several thousand women surveyed, of which something like 40% reported they had partners who refused to wear condoms. Of course the woman still makes the choice to have sex with this person, but why are men refusing to wear them? Why don’t they care that they are endangering their partners like that?

June 8, 2004

RYN2: And studies in Africa and Asia of the spread of AIDS report similar statistics — men who refuse to use condoms and women who don’t feel like they can argue with them about it. I’m not saying either group is innocent, I’m saying its very messed up that men would do this AND that women don’t feel like they can say no.

June 8, 2004

RYN: A common stereotype? Ok, if you think that, it isn’t worth my wasting my time to correct that. There are several UNAIDS reports on this, but this is probably where you tell me you’re one of those guys driving around with “SCREW THE U.N.” on the back of your GMC truck. I’m just kidding. Sort of. Ok, no really, KIDDING. Love you, BD.

June 9, 2004

Re SCREW THE U.N.: Its kind of hot when you pull your sawed off shotgun off the gun-rack and wave it menacingly at us bleedin’ heart liberals…

June 9, 2004

I don’t know WHAT you mean. I’m an over-educated East Coast liberal intellectual. There is not a trace of redneck to sully my reputation, no SIR.

June 9, 2004

more diary writing; more diary writing; more diary writing

ryn: If the human race was that fragile that one “catastrophic” president could destroy it, we’d have died long ago.

you and i clearly consider dates to be different things. I don’t consider it a date when I’m driving to meet halfway, when I’m paying for my meal and my game. to me, a date has romantic undertones. There is nothing romantic about us hanging out. But, the boyfriend has never done anything romantic. It has nothing to do with me “dating” other guys.

but, perhaps there is some unconcious behavior on my part. Perhaps if he were doing nice romantic things, and not degrading me, then I wouldn’t agree to hang out by the opposite sex. Not a date. h a n g i n g o u t.

June 10, 2004

That’s two……. :P~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dont delete entries. Never. Not unless I’ve printed everything out. But, I didn’t delete the last entry, I just made it private. The events of my so-called “date” went fine, and my boyfriend came along. And it wasn’t a big deal. So, that issue is done with. Private.

June 14, 2004

RYN: Yup. If you were sitting on the curb, I’d pick you up and take you home as well. Be well,

June 14, 2004

sinatra is the best… for when you’re alone and when you’re in love. best of luck!

June 14, 2004

RYN: REALLY? Saying “she’s repressed” means he wants to fvck her? Oh my god, I have no ability to interpret the language of men. Can you please elaborate on how saying ‘she’s repressed’ is his way of asking for my permission for him to fvck her? I’m so confused.

June 14, 2004

RYN: Ah, ok. All your advice is duly noted. Will flirt with nerds, and studiously ignore A. Will be fabulous, witty, and as breezy as it is possible to be, while wearing the flag of Haiti and sporting a martini.

it’s not so horrible to know such things. i could have written virtually the same thing about men. -chuckles- except for the pink shorts thing. 🙂

and. just fyi. i’ve been trying to read your entries forever. -chuckles- i’m glad that there are a few out here in public land.

RYN: well, thank you. 🙂

June 15, 2004

I suppose now I have to primp every time I go to the store. 😉

ryn: Thanks. I think you are right. The wife is going to take her in on Friday. still had to put her outside until then. The stink was really getting to me. She’s safe though, as she can not get out of the back yard.

June 15, 2004

Oh I don’t think you’re giving my imagination enough credit. Think of all the ways I can put those sledgehammer fists to work for me.

June 15, 2004

Haha, the first time I read that note, I thought it said “BEER in a tutu”. For at least five minutes I was like, “Why would a beer be put in a tutu???” Your sledehammer fists and gigantic arms would still be hot if they were (temporarily) handcuffed by me, you know.

r: busty angels and small crappie…obsessed with size, are you? 😉

ryn: Then I’m sure those bills in Congress will be defeated soundly.

June 16, 2004

RYN: I aprreciate it, as I was just as reluctant to say anything. However, the fact is we were beat by a better team from one end of the floor to the other. First Ray Charles, then Ralph Wiley, and then this…..life sucks.

ryn: Who told you *that*?

June 18, 2004

I really enjoyed reading this. So you are telling me that while I am dressed in my fresh-from-the-gym clothes and my hair in a ponytail, that cute guy who flashed me a smile in the checkout line isn’t doing it simply out of reflex? I like that thought. I guess while you wait for the love of your life, it makes sense to at least enjoy the scenery. Take care.

ryn: hat? what hat? personally, i was more concerned about his non-rounded ass in that pic. i prefer a little more *umph* back there. however, he has such an aura about him that i exempted him from my usual standards.

June 18, 2004

RYN: Probably not. You want the Gmail invite or not?

June 18, 2004

Dude, yeah, it’s time for an update. I’m jonesin’ for some Parlay to the M-E-N-T.

December 2, 2004

Men and women seem to love you equally.