On a Man’s (first) Castle

I am a 30-year-old man, and right on the cusp of getting myself in outstanding financial order. Of course, that’s “outstanding” if you’re grading on the curve. I’m putting a little money into 401(k), and my credit card debt is less than a grand. And a have a few thou in my savings account. It’s nothing spectacular. But when you hear that the average credit card debt load is like $8,500, you feel good about the little things.

So anyway, I’m ready to take the next step. I’m ready to buy a house.

My lease ends at the end of March. I refuse to sign another lease and sink money into someone else’s pocket. I’m ready to have a yard and a garage and more than three rooms and stairs and a fireplace and all that shit. I want to host parties and have friends over to watch the Lakers play. I want to provide a little more room for my Sasha to run and explore. I want to talk over the fence with my neighbor and grill on my back patio.

And I want the financial windfall that a house would provide. The tax write-offs. And the equity that builds up as you pay down your note and your house increases in value. You buy your starter home and you build up equity. Then, you don’t need to pay mortgage insurance, and you can put down a bigger down payment on a larger house and pay the same amount. And on and on and on until you’re living in Heffner’s mansion or Hearst Castle.

So I went and got myself preapproved for a loan. This is where the shit starts to rain on my parade.

I have fantastic credit. And, on paper, my debt-to-income ratio is some ridiculously-impossible number like 11 percent. So I get approved with no problems. For a ridiculously-high amount of money. Way more than I intend to spend. So everything should be fantastic.

Then, I start to crunch the numbers.

Based on my figures, I’m going to wind up spending about $250 more a month for rent than what I’m paying now. And when I add up all the little “extras” that don’t appear in that magical mortgage equation, I see that $250 is a hell of a hard pill to swallow.

And the problem is that if I try to lower my monthly payment significantly, suddenly I can’t afford much more than a shoebox or a really crappy tent. Because taxes and insurance and PMI pile on top of that base loan amount. And they add a significant amount!

Nonetheless, I’m forging ahead. The figures I used were worst-case scenario, and I feel like I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve. Trimming a little here and there, and counting my payraise chicken before it has hatched. I’m going to talk with my loan consultant and see if I’m not being overly dramatic about the whole thing. A friend of mine told me, “You find a way to make a house payment.”

I just don’t want to go in hock doing it.

 

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January 19, 2004

having a house would be a good kind of hock, though. ya know? i’m sure you can find some areas to cut back – going to basic or no cable, switching to the el cheapo internet provider, going to a less expensive cell phone plan. There are ways, my man! Good luck.

January 19, 2004

oh the joys of home ownership……home repairs: leaky pipes, busted furnace, cracked foundation…..the possibilities are endless 😛

RYN: my cousin is rita

January 19, 2004

Owning a home sounds like an exciting endeavor. Good luck. 🙂

January 19, 2004

How exciting! I know some people that own houses that are totally irresponsible and don’t make any money at all. If they can do it…you definitely can. You’ll be fine.

January 19, 2004

I wish I could have a house payment. I highly recommend one. And don’t forget those football parties for the Chiefs on the plasma wide-screen! (counting more chickens, I see, but it’s a great fantasy.)

January 19, 2004

Dude, i b ought my house 10 years ago and never regretted it. I just refinanced and even if I’m basically starving to death (because of not dancing not because of the refi)it’s STILL worth it. just check into those neighbors BEFORE you buy, k? Trust me on this.

good luck.

Lor
January 19, 2004

Im’ not sure if you live in the states or Canada… but if it’s in the states, you get to up your exemptions when you buy a house… so you bring home more money a month on you paycheck. That actually gave me about 500 a month more to pay my mortgage. You’ll get to claim all the interest you pay on your home on your taxes at the end of the year. Woo!

Count out any Chiefs tickets forever. No more hundred year-old hooch either. Well, you could stay in KC by hustling jigalo-style on the side. The big hands alone would make the cash. Hand over fist. Har har!

You do find a way, but usually its by not having all the nice extras that you get used to while renting. Its totally worth it though – buying a house and selling it a few years later has enabled me to finance what I’m doing now.

January 19, 2004

Jeff and I’d be in the same situation if we ran with our current situation. Either house wealthy and cash poor or living in a dump with very little money to work with. But yes, moving forward is all one can do and hope things come together. “My Sasha” You are so incredibly adorable! Be well,

January 19, 2004

Buying a house is exciting, and making it your “HOME” is a great feeling. By doing it while you’re still single, you’ll miss that first guaranteed divorce too! 😉

January 19, 2004

There are some first-time homebuyers programs out there which are pretty good as well – I used to know a lot more about this when I worked in the gub’ment, but basically it is in the gub’ment’s interest for you to become a homebuyer. They have some reasonable mortgage programs via Fannie Mae Corp. and stuff like that. Have you looked at those?

RYN: what do you mean by ‘not the best advie’? can you give me some better than her?

January 19, 2004

I suppose getting a roommate to pay into your pockets is out of the question huh?

January 19, 2004

i’m terrified of the day i have to buy a house. i won’t know what the hell i’m doing. God, this growing up shit sucks. Good luck! –

ryn: thanks. i think. is it a compliment to be a blonde?? 🙂 congratulations on your mature, home-purchasing decision. best of luck to you.

MRS
January 20, 2004

You’re worst case scenario is probably unrealistic – you sound pretty financially cautious, and people like that tend to worry about EVERY possibility (trust me, I’m that way). I’m sure you can swing it. Also, remember that once you have the mortgage, it doesn’t increase that significantly year to year – unless they reassess your neighborhood and your taxes go through the roof, whereas

MRS
January 20, 2004

apartments tend to raise the rent every year. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

January 20, 2004

You just want someplace to put your big……..TV.

EWS
January 20, 2004

I would LOVE to own a house, but I just can’t afford it, especially with the high child support that I’m paying out (don’t EVER get married, it’s just too expensive — nothing is forever). Oh, I’ll buy a house…when I win the lottery. ;^) Eric

January 21, 2004

RYN: I know I am analizing it too much! I’m a big scardy cat dork! And it’s been about three “dates.” Y pl

January 21, 2004

Good luck on the search for a new home! Is there any way you can get a month to month lease so that you don’t have to put yourself on such a tight dead line and mabey give yourself a little more time for that perfect deal to show up? Y pl

A house is a wonderful thing. Except for the upkeep. Its worth it though. Talk to you in aol.

January 22, 2004

rob bought his house a year ago, thinking it would be cheaper. then the basement flooded, things broke down and he realized there are so many things you have to start paying for yourself. make sure you have plenty put aside, because he’s barely keeping his head above water, and is working 3 jobs right now just to keep going… (although im impressed by the recent work ethic in troubled times..)

January 22, 2004

postcard coming your way soon too 🙂

January 22, 2004

I’m back. Let’s compare mortgage notes soon, eh?

January 23, 2004

RYN: What’s in it for me? 😉 Be well,

January 23, 2004

good luck with the plan, sweet thang, i sincerely hope it all goes as you imagine. just make sure there is a comfy futon for me to crash on when i come for the housewarming party, ok? 🙂 lovelove,

January 26, 2004

RYN: Yes, and I meant it sincerely.

January 27, 2004

No. His job is to maintain that god damned line. I just got his ass in motion.

January 28, 2004

A lot of people steer away from foreclosed properties, but that’s how we bought our first house… we have doubled our money in two years… check out foreclosure websites… might be a way to consider. Usually they are just in need of some TLC.

February 23, 2004

We’ve been looking at houses, too. Our financial situation isn’t even that stellar and even if we won the lottery, having more than half your monthly income go to house payments, insurance, and utilities is frightening. I’d rather live in a shoebox with a little cushion money. Utilities are cheaper that way at least.

May 7, 2004

Some things are worth going into debt for. Like a mortgage. I’m a realtor. But before I was ever an agent I bought my first house at $95,000 and sold it 4 years later for $140,000. Bought my next house at $130,000 and sold if I put it on the market today (5 years later) I could sell it for $200,000 with $155,000 of that being equity…. not bad for 9 years huh? If you need advice…

January 17, 2005

you DO find a way….our payments went from 680 to 1200…and we haven’t missed one yet…but we paid off one car payment before we tried to pull that one off…that is an extra 350 that we put towards mortgage.

There are two things I don’t miss about being a house owner: 1. Lawn maintenance 2. When shit breaks having to wait on my husband to fix it – as opposed to calling maintenance now. 🙂

May 3, 2006

Hi, I found you on Lola’s diary and decided to read back a bit. Hope that’s ok. Now going to read on and see did you buy a house! 😉