He Who Hesitates is Lost (or, at least, a Loser)

Saturday night, Mark and I actually managed to make it to Jen’s birthday party.

I am NOTORIOUS for backing out of engagements like this one. It’s hard to get the guys to agree to attend something like this with me. And I’m not about to go alone (too serial-killeresque). And as I’d mentioned, I don’t want to be just another dude who gets lost in the shuffle.

Still, this place was like THREE BLOCKS from my house. After the 11th-hour plan change that Rob pulled on me, I was just ready to get the fuck out, have a drink, and forget about the shit. So Mark and I said “Fuck it,” and decided to make an appearance.

The place was a dive, but it was a clean dive. If that makes sense. Mark and I were there early, so we commandeered the pool table, and had a few drinks. There were a handful of people already in attendance, but the lovely Jen was not one of them.

My back was to the front door when she finally showed up. I turned around and saw her, and she looked pretty fucking fantastic. It’s the first time I’d ever seen her with her hair down, and it worked. Her whole look was different from the norm, and I wanted more.

Because she is not a boy band and I am not a teenage girl, I did not make a mad rush for her when she walked in the door. This was probably my wisest move of the night. Mark and I kept at the pool table, making phone calls and singing along to the Dean Martin on the jukebox.

Eventually, she wandered in our direction. My hands fell at the small of her back as I hugged her and told her “Happy Birthday.” Almost instantly, I could tell something was wrong. She was uncomfortable, which is something I have never sensed with her. Lots of her girlfriends know me by name only, and are always eager to meet me. So I knew I hadn’t been misreading signals. She’s always carried a small torch for me. Still, something wasn’t right. So I backed off. Immediately.

She made her way back through the crowd, greeting and so forth. And it soon became apparent that she was being patrolled by some dude. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but Mark insisted and he was right. She had brought a date to her own birthday party.

And then I got to thinking— She and I have missed one another the previous two weekends in a row. And I can never seem to catch her on the phone lately. And it all clicked. She is DATING this dude! I had to kind of laugh, because it was just kind of par for the night’s course. She later introduced us, and that was all the proof I needed.

Mark and I wound up hitting on a couple of girls at the end of the bar shortly after. But my phone would not stop ringing, so we decided to head out. We invited the girls (and a few of their friends) to meet us at our new hangout. And we bolted.

We spent some time at the Point, where I fell in love about 300 times. But Mark wasn’t being much of a wing man (he had to get up at 5 a.m., and wasn’t really feeling the mojo). On our way out the door, we bumped into the girls from Jen’s party. But Mark was ready to go, and I was meeting my old diarist pal Ginger Snap at a new locale. They were, unfortunately, too late to the dance.

Mark left me in the company of Ginger before heading home for the night. And in keeping with the theme of missed opportunities and being one-upped by everyone in the city with a Y chromosome, one of Ginger’s acquaintances was making passive-aggressive moves against me when I wasn’t paying any attention. She told me later (after he had left) that he’d bought a bottle of champagne (don’t ask me why!), and had insisted that they only needed four glasses (me being the fifth person).

And when Ginger (bless her heart) snagged another glass for me, he FUCKING POURED THE DRINK FROM MY GLASS INTO EVERYONE ELSE’S!

Of course, I was away from the table when all this happened. Or I was looking at the chick at the table next to us who was wearing a backless shirt. I dunno. At any rate, he was pulling this shit in front of other people, and I was none the wiser. I must’ve looked like the biggest idiot at the bar.

You can’t win them all, that’s for sure. But is it possible to lose them all? Apparently so.

Log in to write a note

RYN: anyone who has sex with her, is getting ass fucked, as they either end up owing child support, or they get STDs.

EWS
April 7, 2004

I can believe that guy. Kick his ass. ;^) Eric

April 7, 2004

Dude, is that guy like… four years old?

RYN: So was mine, although the facts are true 😛

April 7, 2004

What a cock knocking bastard. You should have given him a smack in the mouth. Be well,

April 7, 2004

DOH! I told you you should just come chase me. Them bitches don’t know what they’re missing. Show us pictures of your thunderfists again. Pleeeease.

Max
April 7, 2004

Shoulda gone to a gay bar.

You’re not favorites only any more. I kept clicking in the hopes that you wouldn’t be. Not that you know me or care to let me read, but I certainly enjoyed your refreshing perspective on male-female relationships and missed that when you went away. Anyway, hi.

RYN: well, my ass is larger. I win.

April 7, 2004

What a curious fellow, this guy with the four drinks and five glasses. However, why you would see yourself as the apparent loser in his game is unclear. You did nothing, while his bad behavior was on display for everyone to see.

April 7, 2004

You are the most macho fag I have ever met. —

April 7, 2004

You are much better looking than my pussy. —

MRS
April 7, 2004

I’m not sure you lost the one with Ginger Snap’s friend(?). If people dick me over and I don’t even notice, I don’t think they get credit for it.

hmm

April 7, 2004

I’m with MRS. He looks like an idiot if he’s being a dick to you, and you’re too busy to care. I declare you the winner, dude.

April 7, 2004

could she not just say she was seeing someone? oh my, what was that guy’s problem?

i need your addy to mail the CD. If you still want it, that is.

he sounds like an asshole, and i’m sure most people were not impressed.

April 7, 2004

You know, I would note this entry, but I am feeling like a looooooooser today, so nothing good would come out anyway. Hugs though

April 7, 2004

No way, babe. He was just jealous because you were the hottest guy at the bar.

April 7, 2004

in a way it gives me hope to see that even *you* can sometimes strike out. it’ll go your way next time, i’m sure! –

Isn’t Mark like your best friend? How could he pull that crap on you? Perhaps some champagne in the lap is what he needed. Jen makes me curious. She must still be rather unsure of this new guy if she tensed up so much around you. And I wonder why she didn’t tell you about him. Maybe because there is still a chance to hit that? 🙂

April 8, 2004

hey dawlin’. i responded to your note to me in my own entry, you know, in the grandiose way of a person who does such things.

April 8, 2004

The panties?

Lor
April 8, 2004

**smile** You’re telling ME! I need to up the volume on that thing or somethin!

April 8, 2004

Wierdo. lol

April 8, 2004

RYN: Yeah, but I just wanted someone to blame it on!!! I’ll miss you this weekend!

April 8, 2004

Very healthy and good to have the picture. Who cares about seeing the bastard? I have no more desire to fight with him or to have him in my life, hate him or not. I will get the picture and it will be done. I won’t kill him because jail scares me and I won’t injure him because it would give him satisfaction I’m sure. I won’t have sex with him either.

Damn. Misread again. I think I need more sleep. Argh. And I meant to say Tootsie Roll(similar to the butterfly), but I was thinking most people wouldn’t know what that was. Didn’t the butterfly come after it anyway? To the left! To the left! What was strange? Me actually dreaming of a hand job? You’d be surprised at some of the things that I leave out of my entries.

Cyndi laughs because people think that I am this innocent prude. Hmmm…yeah, right.

That Subserviant Chicken is hilarious. I said. Shake your booty like you mean it! Retain your dignity! Take off your mask! ChickenBoy did not seem amused at all.

ryn: women do NOT punch each other in the eyes. 😉 and surely a man wouldn’t be sporting eye jewelry??

April 8, 2004

RYN (on my chick entry) … so is Hicks. —

April 9, 2004

RYN: Thanks a bunch sweetie, I really appreciate what you (and some others) have said. You’re quite right, it is a pity party. From me, they’re quite rare, but when they hit, they really hit, don’t they? *grins* I’m in a better mood today, really. Okay, with all that said, hugs to you, big ones.

I caught ChickenBoy at about 11pm my time and it looked like he was laying under the computer trying to get a nap. I told him he was welcome to keep napping. He just flapped his wings in frustration. Is this all that he does? How does he make money? Probably comes from OD, I worry too much for people. Heehee.

April 9, 2004

Well lookie who has finally let me in.

April 9, 2004

that was in such bad taste, to pull that crap with only 4 champagne glasses. you’re the better man there, and he knew it, which is probably why he was being so passive-aggressive.

April 12, 2004

this guy’s got zero class. and by the way… thanks for your note way back when – back when i thought some shmo was stealing my writing. i tried to thank you then, but you were faves only – so… thanks!

April 12, 2004

I think she likes you. Maybe they’ll break up! That guy sounds like a twat. ryn: Cthulhu scares me dude!

April 12, 2004

ryn: i would figure you’d be a guy to like the falloon, maybe next time I should give the snotty guys some trouble….ehhh. maybe not. where do you usually hang out anyway? i might want to stalk you someday 😉 –

April 12, 2004

ryn: never heard of it… where’s it at? –

April 23, 2004

YOU have to let me know when u come back to Dallas! this night sounds way too funny………..

You should have hit him.

December 2, 2004

I’ll bet he didn’t take Social Dancing, either.

January 22, 2005

it’s totally so much cooler to not notice when someone’s being a dick to you…that way their asshole-ness goes to waste. Totally cool that you were looking at a chick from another table when the ass was being an…ass. yeah.