Parliament
July 24, 2006

Goodbye, Dad– I Love You

My Dad passed away today. He was 77.

 

For the past several months, Dad had been battling one sort of ailment or another. He went into the hospital somewhere around the third week of March. Since that time, he’s been in and out of various hospitals and skilled nursing facilities throughout the Kansas City area. One ailment or another.

 

I hesitate to call myself his caregiver during that time. I suppose I’m better described as having been his patient advocate. Dad signed over power of attorney to me, so in addition to paying his bills for him, I dealt with doctors and nurses and all species of hospital administrator. There were a lot of battles. Some victories. Many headaches and heartaches. The ultimate goal during that period of time was to get him strong enough and healthy enough to come home. In the end, he has gone Home. Note to self: Be a little more specific with your prayers.

 

Of all my brothers and sisters, I’d say I was closest to Dad. So taking on the responsibility was a natural fit. Besides, I wouldn’t have trusted the job to anyone else. I was honored to help him bear his cross these past few months. He thanked me after each visit. “Your mother and I appreciate all you’re doing for us,” he always said.

 

And now he’s gone.

 

I should feel a huge sense of relief—as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and neck. If that weight has been lifted, it’s replaced with a deep pressure in my chest. From my heavy heart.

 

Dad taught me to be strong—to be a man in the most traditional sense of the word. Work hard. Fight tooth-and-nail for that in which you believe. Make no judgment on a person for their race, creed, color, or sexual orientation. Treat the meek, weak, and timid with gentle hands. And don’t take shit from anyone.

 

I was present when he breathed his last. I held his hand, and focused on the gentlest of pulses in his wrist, until it was no more. The last few weeks were ugly and exhausting, and I’m glad he’s finally at rest. No more pain. No more fighting for air. No more discomfort. No more.

 

I feel now a deep emptiness. He has occupied so much of my life for the past few months. And now, I’m not exactly sure what to do with myself.

 

Earlier this year, my Uncle Jesse passed away as well. The Almighty has taken the two most important men in my life. Now, I’ll have to seek counsel on manly affairs by looking skyward. And I’ll have to trust the answers that come to me in my heart.

 

Those of you who have my phone number and/or e-mail address, please hold off for a day or so before contacting me. I need a little time alone.

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shnooze
July 25, 2006

sounds like you learned a lot from a really good man. i’m sorry for your loss.

i’m so sorry, he sounds like a great man.

colige_grajuit
July 25, 2006

I’m sorry for your loss…

Polly_f-ing_anna
July 25, 2006

Oh, man I am so sorry. Words mean little at such a time. But I know I speak for many others when I say you and your family will be in our thoughts.

i miss my Dad, too. strength to you, sir.

Edina Devine
July 25, 2006

I am so sorry for your loss. Your words say so much about how extrodinary your father was and what a great friend he was to you. If it’s any comfort, sometimes you won’t have to look skywards – sometimes you’ll feel him walking right beside you. Big hugs,

“Treat the meek, weak, and timid with gentle hands. And don’t take shit from anyone.” You are a wonderful man. You learned alot and I am so sorry for your loss…………*hug*………..

thank you for sharing this.

kiki
July 25, 2006

Words cannot do your grief justice, but I hope the memories of your time together bring you peace.

Jane Says
July 25, 2006

I’m sorry to hear about your dad, it’s great that you could be there for him to the end.

Ginger Snap
July 25, 2006

So sorry Hon.

Shadowhaven
July 25, 2006
Gail
July 25, 2006
Kawaii Anime Gal
July 25, 2006

My condolences…

Quintessential Spark
July 25, 2006
Paisley
July 25, 2006

I’m so sorry for your loss.

bumble
July 25, 2006

I’m sorry you lost your dad. I don’t even have your email address any more, could you send it sometime when you’re feeling better? How is your mom doing?

Nude
July 25, 2006

May you find some peace yourself over the next few days, and may you carry on in his stead.

tinaxduzgen.
July 25, 2006

take care of yourself. i’m sorry for your loss.

Your father sounds like a good man. I’m so, so sorry you’ve lost him. Be well.

Senora Flora
July 26, 2006
Paige
July 26, 2006

I’m so so sorry sweetie – my heart aches for you. I’ll say a prayer for your dad, you and your family. Love you-

I’m sorry. He sounds like a good man. Take care.

Hurricane Katie
July 26, 2006

I’m so sorry…

k_luv
July 26, 2006

God bless him. Sounds like he was a fantastic father.

Candygrl
July 26, 2006

I’m so sorry for your loss, take care.

Max
July 26, 2006

Oh, Duke. I’m so sorry. Love,

EWS
July 26, 2006

I’ve always said that death is hardest on the living. The feeling of loss is eternal. Eric

Bitter Pill
July 26, 2006

I’m sorry to hear this. This is a difficult time- please be well.

Decayed Elvis
July 26, 2006

I never know what to say at a time like this to someone in loss because everybody says “I’m sorry” but- It just doesn’t seem enough. So take care and I’ll put all y’all in my prayers and- I’m sorry.

Mr Avid
July 26, 2006

Sorry to hear this P-man. I lost my dad 6 years ago after an extended illness…the hospitals and care facilties….tough deal. Rest assured…with time the pain gets a little better.

Argent D'or
July 27, 2006

I’m sorry… My serious condolances. Hugs

Thunder Road
July 27, 2006

I am very, very sorry to hear this. I lost my dad earlier this year, very unexpectedly, and I am still having a hard time w/ it all. I wish you peace and comfort.

JumpyMonkey!
July 27, 2006

The road you’re walking I know well sweetie. My deepest sympathies. I know that he has been released from his pain though and that is the beauty of death when it ends the suffering. I took great comfort in that blessing and it helped me a lot with my Dad. *sigh* I’ve already said my prayers for you and your family. So sorry for your losses. Love,

Just a random noter saying hi 🙂 Sorry that you lost your dad. <3

Vamp
July 28, 2006

I’m so sorry, hun. ::hugs::

Bridget Jonesing
July 28, 2006

i am so sorry. you can have as much space as you want from me, even though i’m totally codependent for you. p.s. as you see fit, write again so that i don’t have to leave glib ryn’s here. or, if i find a picture of someone grabbing my boobs, i’ll send it over so you can post it as some kind of intermission entry where people can note. see i’m already being inappropriate. i hope your father had a good sense of humor and will forgive me.

Dolor Angelicus
July 29, 2006

I’m sorry.

deliciae
July 30, 2006

Sweetie, I hope you’re holding together. I am so sorry to hear of your loss; I’m lighting a candle for your dad and one for you tonight. Big love to you,

The Big U
July 30, 2006

My deepest and sincere condolences.

Icarus Knew
August 1, 2006

Your Dad taught you well. His voice will whisper in your ear.

fully caffeinated
August 2, 2006

A wise man. My condolences.

"That Girl"
August 3, 2006

Big Daddy, you know your daddy raised you right! I am so proud of the way you helped him carry out his wishes in his last days. I’m so very sorry for your heartache and loss. Love,

-b-
August 8, 2006

I am sorry for your loss.

I’ve lost track of you, friend. I’m so sorry about your dad. Strong hugs,

Angela
August 9, 2006

I’m so sorry.

EmpressOfEmpathy
August 18, 2006

I felt the exact same way when my dad died. Atleast we had that time to say goodbye but it is never an easy thing. Time heals all wounds or atleast numbs a bit. Aim

MRS
August 24, 2006

Oh Parli, I’m so sorry. I JUST read this. Hears hoping that you’ve found a little peace, that your heart is not as heavy. Much love to you and my deepest, deepest condolences on your loss.

Cbutts
August 27, 2006

Wow P, I’m so sorry. I haven’t been around here much or I would have seen this sooner. Please forgive me for my late sympathy, but know that I care deeply, and am here if you need anything.

You probably don’t remember this but I met you at OD because we were both defending a diarist who was “the other woman”. I thought you were cool to be sticking up for someone that most people would look down on. I realize reading this that you gained that strength of character from your father.

shadowkat
September 9, 2006

My belated condolences.

my dad has also been sick with a variety of things the last year or so. It’s made me think a lot about when he will be gone. Hope I can handle it as well as you did with your dad. Jimmy

Your Dad was 43/44 when you were born? That’s nasty. Good riddance.

Parliament
December 6, 2006

Don’t hate on the old man because he was getting laid! —

clandestine.
January 25, 2007

i’m sorry for your loss. and i want to comment on how articulate you are.

Journeyman
February 14, 2007

This is heart-wrenching! I am deeply regretful for your loss! Your dad taught you some honorable things. He will be so missed!!

Slapdash Sutefani
June 20, 2007

i’m sorry for your loss.

Uptown Girl
August 3, 2007

I am so sorry for your loss. I dread the day that I lose one of my parents. The world will never be the same again.

wildchief
October 15, 2007

Oh, my deepest condolences. I’m so so sorry x

AprilSays
July 28, 2008

ah…now i see why my words might have stung…i’m sorry 🙁

Work hard. Fight tooth-and-nail for that in which you believe. Make no judgment on a person for their race, creed, color, or sexual orientation. Treat the meek, weak, and timid with gentle hands. And don’t take shit from anyone. I love that. My most sincere condolences.

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