Don’t Tread on Me

I suppose it was foolish of me to think that I could come back from my extended absence, and immediately resume the role of Alpha Male to all of the guys. It’s a bit of a coveted position, and not one to be easily relinquished. Once you’ve tasted the power, it’s hard to give it back up.

Even if you do suck at the job.

When I left the wolves to be with the ex, Rob became the de facto H.N.I.C. And he’s abused the position for his own benefit. Now, the troops assemble when he wants them to assemble. They go where he wants to go. They do what he wants to do. There is no discussion on the matter. And the group, like it or not, has suffered.

So with my recent return to singality, I have, on several occasions, tried to make things right with everyone. Trying to establish some sort of a routine. Trying to get everyone together again. And my efforts have been thwarted on several occasions by my former protégé.

I can understand Rob being a little bitter about me leaving and coming back. He was having the time of his life with me before I started dating the ex. And when I left him, it all kind of dried up for him. I expected some resentment. I expected I’d have to work my way back in a little.

But he really needs to get the fuck over it at this point. Because I have had my fill.

The breaking point was reached this past week, when  Rob managed to fuck me over twice. In a big way. These two incidents have really got my blood at a boil. And it’s really difficult to piss me off. I’ve been taking all the snark with a coke and a smile. All the empty threats about him going out and getting a girlfriend and being “done.” Fair enough. I let him get in his digs. Fair is fair.

But last Tuesday, he stood me up for my move. He was supposed to bring a truck and some help, and when I called him at 4 to find out where he was, he told me he wasn’t going to be able to make it until late. He claimed he still working, but I’m led to believe (by outside sources) that he likely made it all up. In any case, he was supposed to call me when he was leaving work, but he didn’t. I had to make some last-minute phone calls to some of the guys to whom loyalty still means something.

And on Saturday, he pulled an eleventh-hour plan change on me. We hadn’t spoken all weekend, but he knew I was planning something. And without so much as a phone call, he managed to talk a good chunk of the guys into going his way instead of mine. After they were planning on coming to my new crib and everything. It was an extremely underhanded manuever.

Out of sheer anger (and stubbornness, I admit), Mark and I wound up going in our own direction. It’s a good thing we didn’t cross paths.

It makes me mad just to see that in writing. It honestly chaps my ass worse than being stood up for my move. Because it shows a complete lack of respect on his part. I can understand the guys flaking on me at the last minute. (The mob is fickle.) But Rob’s behind-the-back phone calls show a serious lack of respect. A lack of loyalty, which in my book is a mortal sin.

I’m going to take some time to cool off before I confront Rob on this behaviour. But rest assured—I will definitely confront him. I can totally handle playing second fiddle to him. It’s honestly time that the torch was passed. But it’s not something you turn on and turn off. It’s not something that is to be used in a self-serving manner. When you run with a tight-knit group, someone has to be the lead dog. Otherwise, things fall apart (as they apparently have these past two years). It can all be salvaged, but Rob needs to start being a man about it.

Otherwise, I’m going to put him in his place. Publicly.