through every pane of weathered glass

My attempts to keep on a regular writing schedule have, for the most part, been a complete failure. I have barely written anything for a month, just little scribbles of one or two lines, scrawled in the margins of my planner or on presentations.

I detest beginning every entry with an apology. Each time I write, I wind up writing paragraph upon paragraph, explaining away absences and blaming a lack of time, inspiration, or inclination. No one ever sees them because I delete them before posting. It becomes redundant after while.

“When writing about your life, life gets in the way. That’s how it should be.”
I wrote that in a note once, a long time ago. Sadly, I can’t exactly apply it to my situation because my life never gets in the way. I spend most of my days working, sleeping, eating and watching TV (I’m hopelessly addicted to Lost). I feel like this a sort of… stunted me, creatively, because I can spend hours doing sudoku, but when it comes time to write, I’m blank.

I happen to think entirely in one-liners, and single lines do not a diary entry make.

This should not in any way be taken to mean that I am unhappy with the state of my life. I just wish there were more hours in the day, one more day in my weekend, extra time so that after work, I can do more than ride my bike, watch TV, eat, and sleep. Perhaps some time to pursue my less practical ambitions. My work won’t be getting published anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t write it.

I leave unwritten stories in my wake. I have a list of stories I need to start/finish writing, and it keeps growing. There are a dozen lives half-told in my notebook, but I toss them aside and begin another without a backward glance.

I turn 23 on Friday. I scarcely feel older than 16. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to act my age.

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April 12, 2006

lucy in the sky with diamonds is a great song.is that where you got your location from? and maybe you can write your journal however you want.maybe you can do it in one liners or whatever you called them..it’s your journal and it doesn’t have to be perfect, does it?just comfortable.don’t think, just write, mayube it’ll come to you.start off telling the facts…sorry not much help,good luck tho<3

lua
April 12, 2006

you are only ever as old as you feel. i’m 19, and i still feel 12 x

April 12, 2006

we all want time to be more creativeme personally, I think that’s what forever is forI came up with a great horror movie the other dayand I know it may never get writtengood to hear from you anyway

April 12, 2006

First off, Happy Early Birthday… my little brother turns 13 on Friday,wooohoo 🙂 Don’t apologize for not writing… it happens. there truly is never enough time! xox jezsyka

April 12, 2006

ive been hitting crazy writing blocks too. i always start poems/stories and the inspiration/concentration dies out half way, so i have yet to write anything with a good ending, or even an ending at all!! wow, 23. im 20 in november and it’s so scary saying that!! ps. thanks for your note(s). ur honesty/insight def helps to hear. as does hearing about ur big titties. HAHA KIDDING! =) <33

April 12, 2006

pps. ive never seen you before in real life or even a picture, so i can say with certainty that i like you for yourself and yourself alone. thought i’d throw a cheesy (yet true) moment in there for ya! *blushes* ciao, bella!

April 12, 2006

I’d be interested in reading your one-liners. *hug* And I’m a 5 year old trapped in a body that’s 21…as my boyfriend and I have decided makes him a theoretical pedophile but not really. Just means I get to repeat random words because I say them “cute.” Until I drink, get sleepy, or read Faulkner and my hick accent comes majorly into play. Oh well. Happy birthday a little early…much love.

April 12, 2006

i miss you! one-liners are better than nothing. 🙂

happy almost birthday.maybe that’s why we get along – i’m sixteen right now.and i love you, too.

April 13, 2006

acting your age is overrated, i think.not a bad thing that you’ve been kissed in all those places. you’re almost 23; i hope to have completed that list by then.maybe if they were all different boys, but even then, if they were all worth it, it’s okay.<3,